Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Through the Keyhole - February 2017

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guess the location
     FEBRUARY 2017 turnkey-color-logo-white 7
Through the Keyhole

Informative & Interesting... not your everyday company newsletter.
Happy Valentine's Day (and Happy Non-Leap Year)!
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I don't think that a couple nuzzling in shallow water with their horses in tow can paint a more cliched picture of love...  However, it was a nice photo and I would bet the editors of Horse and Hound would be pleased to see it. Moreover, Valentine's Day is in 13 days and this may serve as a reminder for those of you who need reminding to pre-order your chocolates, flowers or whatever tickles your fancy.

 Do you remember those grade school homemade cards?  I do.
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From its bloody origins to its sweet, chocolatey modern day traditions, these are some interesting facts you didn’t know about Valentine’s Day (or maybe you did and I didn't):

In Victorian times it was considered bad luck to sign a Valentine’s Day card.

Based on retail statistics, about 3 per cent of pet owners will give Valentine’s Day gifts to their pets.

About 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged each year. This makes it the second largest seasonal card sending time of the year.

Or you could pop over to Finland where Valentine’s Day is called Ystävänpäivä, which translates into “Friend’s day”. It’s more about remembering your buddies than your loved ones.

Many believe the X symbol became synonymous with the kiss in medieval times. People who couldn’t write their names signed in front of a witness with an X. The X was then kissed to show their sincerity.

In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who would be their Valentine. They would wear this name pinned onto their sleeves for one week for everyone to see. This was the origin of the expression “to wear your heart on your sleeve.”

Physicians of the 1800s commonly advised their patients to eat chocolate to calm their pining for lost love.

More than 35 million heart-shaped boxes of chocolate will be sold for Valentine’s Day (all of them at Walgreens).

73 percent of people who buy flowers for Valentine’s Day are men, while only 27 percent are women.

Teachers will receive the most Valentine’s Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, sweethearts and pets.

Every Valentine’s Day, the Italian city of Verona, where Shakespeare’s lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet.

Leap Year - Next visit 2020
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And here is a word about leap year and adding the extra day to February every 4 years... The next time will be 2020.  There is a silly romantic comedy movie about it.  You can watch the marathon every leap day on Lifetime on the 29th (that's a lie - I used the picture because I couldn't find anything else except a bunch of frog pics).
Leap years are needed to keep our modern day Gregorian calendar in alignment with the Earth's revolutions around the sun.

It takes the Earth approximately 365.242189 days – or 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes, and 45 seconds – to circle once around the Sun. This is called a tropical year, and is measured from the March (vernal) equinox.

However, the Gregorian calendar has only 365 days in a year, so if we didn't add a leap day on February 29 nearly every four years, we would lose almost six hours off our calendar every year. After only 100 years, our calendar would be off by around 24 days!

valentines day facts

This pic above is just satisfying the other half of the Horse and Hound reference.  That is a good looking pup.

And now for a new picture above- Can you guess where it is by looking through the keyhole?  "When a couple travels to this famous bridge in the city of love, they lock a padlock with their initials onto the public fence and throw away the key.  In 2015, all locks were removed." Can you guess the location?

Correct answers will be given recognition but half the fun is trying to figure it out.  The correct answer will be revealed in the subsequent issue.  Good luck and have fun.

If you like this newsletter, forward it to someone else or
sign them up HERE.

As always, send any items you think are newsworthy, interesting or just plain odd to

Miami, Florida - Keyhole Answer


"Home to many Cuban defectors, this city boasts the most Art Deco buildings in the world.  It's mostly man made beaches are frequently restocked with sand and you can see a cruise ship depart about every 20 minutes on the weekends."Last month, Peter Piccadilli won the location by guessing correctly.  It's an obscure picture but that is Miami.  Thanks Pete. 

Miami is a major center, and a leader in finance, commerce, culture, media, entertainment, the arts, and international trade. In 2012, Miami was classified as an Alpha−World City in the World Cities Study Group's inventory. In 2010, Miami ranked seventh in the United States in terms of finance, commerce, culture, entertainment, fashion, education, and other sectors. It ranked 33rd among global cities.

Although my opinion doesn't really matter, I cannot stand the Miami airport and it seems to be a major hub to get anywhere non-mainstream in the Caribbean and South America.  It also is cruise ship heaven.  It is also home to South Beach, Miami Beach, and a large, cool neighborhood of Art Deco hotels and nightclubs.  It's a late, late city and the restaurants really don't come alive until 10 pm.  That is late.


A very nice picture of the waterways in Miami
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The Bridge
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Art Deco Historic District
Miami Beach from afar (up close is very interesting to say the least)
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I don't know what kind of a cruise this is but the boat looks too small to have such a diverse group.
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And the cast from some reality TV show about Miami Beach.

Welcome to Miami (Will Smith video)

Things to see in Miami (video)

Miami from a drone (video)

Network Security Assessment
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The fastest growing segment of IT is the security segment - there is no doubt.  Most of our customers have already removed many of the public facing vulnerabilities from their networks (exchange servers, web servers, etc.).  There is no need to be fearful or to doubt your networks are secure but this kind of thing is in the world every day - from hijacking your pc, to ransomware and server hacks, there are threats. 

We also send out regular quarterly 'report cards' so that our customers are informed of places where things could be improved.  We have some new tools available to us to provide a "deep dive" into your network from outside and from within.  From external vulnerabilities to password complexity to open ports in your firewall - these network assessments may provide additional peace of mind. 

If you are interested in having a network security assessment performed, please contact me (David) at 847 808 3990 to find out the details...

A Bad Lip Reading (hilarious video)

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video here

Quote of the week

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When asked what he thinks about General Mattis being considered for Secretary of Defense, Rob O’Neill (the man who killed Bin Laden), said, 
“General Mattis has a bear rug in his home but it is not dead, it is just afraid to move”.

I no longer feel foolish
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The Cicret Bracelet

Moving to the White House?
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1. Incoming presidents are responsible for getting their belongings to the White House2. The residence staff has approximately five hours to make the move3. The new president can make major changes to the residence4. The first family pays for its own groceries5. There’s plenty to keep the first family occupied6. Privacy is at a premium7. The perks don’t stop when the president leaves

full article here

Signs of the Times

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."


In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels."


On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels


At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for,  you've come to the right place."


On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed."


On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."


At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

"Invite us to your next blowout."


At a Towing company:

"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."


On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts."


In a Non-smoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."


On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push."


At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."


Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."


In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"


At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be."


In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."


In the front yard of a Funeral Home: (MY FAVORITE!!!!!)

"Drive carefully. We'll wait."


At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank heaven for little grills."


And don't forget the sign at a


"Best place in town to take a leak."


Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

Too funny


Joke of the DayToday a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Well Written Police Report

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"All my life I thought air was free... Then I bought a bag of chips."

- Anonymous

TURNkey Hall of Fame

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“Yes, I have been using this computer for a long time...”

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1 Roll of Jimmy Dean Breakfast Sausage (Turkey, Pork, Mild or Spicy - your choice)
2 Package Cream Cheese (the brick), cubed
1 Can Rotel Tomatoes (mild)
1 Can Rotel Tomatoes (spicy)

Brown sausage til crumbly, drain.  Add cubed cream cheese and Rotel tomatoes and simmer until bubbly.  Serve with Tostitos Scoops and get down with your white trash selves

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Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Through the Keyhole - January 2017

     JANUARY 2017 turnkey-color-logo-white 7
Through the Keyhole

Informative & Interesting... not your everyday company newsletter.
Happy New Year!

Another year has come and most of us hoping that this new year will bring good things.

This is also the time of year when people are making resolutions. 

I could lay out a litany of cliché's pertaining to making 2017 great but I will dispense that thought as it's just a bunch of words...  What I will say is that I am very hopeful that this year will be a good year for small businesses (yours and mine) if just a few things promised become reality.  Lower taxes, pride in America and people spending money will always make for a better year.

I, for one, will admit that business has been a grind since oh, the twin towers fell.  It's been livable but a grind. Many of the people I talk to agree that we haven't seemed to get things moving for a long time. I hope this year may be the year we really move the needle.

It's hard to put into words but a good economy is really just a good feeling collectively.  If we all feel good, we spend money and everything is positive.  I may be overstating the obvious but I really think it could be just that simple. 

So if there is one thing I hope for besides love, health, wealth and happiness - it would be a new, prosperous economy where everyone benefits.  I know it's a longshot but wouldn't it be great if a rising tide lifted all boats and there was a renewed sense of America where we all stood as one.  I know we could use a big dose of unity.  And it wouldn't hurt if everyone had a little more in their wallets...

Cheers to a Happy New Year!


And now for a new picture above- Can you guess where it is by looking through the keyhole?  "Home to many Cuban defectors, this city boasts the most Art Deco buildings in the world.  It's mostly man made beaches are frequently restocked with sand and you can see a cruise ship depart about every 20 minutes on the weekends." Can you guess the location?

Correct answers will be given recognition but half the fun is trying to figure it out.  The correct answer will be revealed in the subsequent issue.  Good luck and have fun.

If you like this newsletter, forward it to someone else or sign them up HERE.

As always, send any items you think are newsworthy, interesting or just plain odd to news@turnkey.pro

London, England - Keyhole Answer

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"Made famous by it's many landmarks, this City is really the gateway to Europe and a gem to visit any time of the year.  Christmas shopping is always an adventure at Harrod's."

Last month, Jason Ross won the location by guessing correctly.  Although Big Ben isn't a tough landmark to spot...

Although you needn't immerse yourself in a lot of homework before your first trip to London, it's important to understand that driving on the opposite side of the road isn't the only thing locals do differently from Americans. In addition to their own unique vocabulary for everyday words, there's that British sense of humor marked by BBC exports such as Monty Python, Black Adder and Jeeves and Wooster. If pageantry, palaces and serene parks are your cup of tea, London is a year-round adventure.


It is expensive to visit London.  Period.  1 British Pound = 1.23 USD

Domestic Beer ~£ 5
Gallon of Milk ~£ 3.5
Dozen Eggs ~£ 2.17


When dining out, your napkin should always be placed in your lap, not tucked under your chin. It's also important to remember that--unlike in the United States--you don't put your knife down to eat with your fork; meals are very much a two-handed affair throughout. Unless you're attending a dinner party--where it's acceptable to arrive 15 minutes late--strict punctuality is the British norm. Although it's common in American conversations with strangers to directly ask what someone does for a living, it's considered a bit invasive by the English. The better course is to engage in casual small talk that may or may not lead them to reveal their line of work. Speaking of conversations, the British rarely strike up any chatter with strangers when riding London's public transportation or waiting in line at a shop.


Use a Black Cab or take the Tube.



Contrary to what I was told, the food is actually excellent in London.  I especially like the breakfasts which are served with beans (yes, beans).

10 Things to know about London

1. London is one of Europe’s largest cities

London has a population of 7.5 million people and covers 600 square miles which makes it one of Europe’s largest cities. Over 270 nationalities live there and between them they speak over 250 languages, more than any other city in the world.


2. For travelling the ‘Tube’ buy a ‘travel card’ or an ‘Oyster Card’

London’s underground, better known as the ‘Tube’ transports over 1 billion people around the English capital every year. There are 12 lines in operation and because many of the city’s top attractions have their own stops, you’ll definitely use it at some stage.For buying tickets you should buy one of these two:
1.      Off-peak travelcard for zones 1 and 2: Costing just over £5, this will permit you unlimited travel on the tube within zones 1 and 2, which should be enough for any visitor to the city

2.      Oyster Card: These can be picked up at tube stations. They cost £3 and work on a pay as you go basis. Each journey then costs £1.50, but there is a ‘capping’ scheme where once you use a certain amount, it will stop taking money off your card. They make travelling on the tube cheaper, easier and quicker.

3. Many of the world’s most instantly recognisable landmarks are here

Big Ben, the Houses of Parliament, Trafalgar Square, Buckinham Palace, Tower Bridge and more landmarks can be found in London. A great way to see lots of them in a short space of time is by going on a walk up the Thames from Westminster Bridge to Tower Bridge. First you’ll see the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben, then the London Eye, while further down the river you’ll see St Paul’s Cathedral, the Gherkin Building, Tate Modern, Tower of London and, of course, Tower Bridge .

4. The city’s top museums and galleries are free

Many of London’s top museums and galleries are free. This includes the Natural History Museum and Science Museum on Exhibition Road in South Kensington, and the Victoria and Albert Museum around the corner from here on Cromwell Road. Closer to the West End are the National Portrait Gallery on St Martin’s Place behind Trafalgar Square, along with the National Gallery which is actually on Trafalgar Square. The famous Tate Modern is also free, while the most popular of all is the British Museum on Great Russell Street which has over 7 million artefacts.

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5. There are lots of parks to chill out in

As London is such a busy city, it’s good to know there are lots of parks to chill out in. The biggest and best known is Hyde Park which is full of lakes and fountains, and is where you will find the famous ‘Speakers Corner’ where people come to speak their mind on all subjects every Sunday morning. Other parks worth checking out are St James’s Park and Green Park in front of Buckingham Palace, and Regents Park and Primrose Hill up in North London.

6. This is one of the best cities in the world for shopping

Some of the best known streets for shopping in London are Carnaby Street, Regent Street and Oxford Street. The famous department store Harrods can be found in Knightsbridge, while bargains can be found at the markets in Camden Town.

7. It’s got some really cool neighborhoods

Suburbs mentioned in the video are:

1.      Covent Garden: Home to lots of trendy clothes shops and restaurants. (Tube: Covent Garden)

2.      Soho: Full of bars and restaurants, and the city’s gay quarter. (Tubes: Piccadilly Circus / Tottenham Court Road)

3.      Camden Town: More like a big town than a big city due to its lock, markets, eclectic clothes shops and tattoo parlours. (Tube: Camden Town)

4.      Notting Hill: Extremely popular since the 1999 movie of the same name. Its main thoroughfare is Portobello Road which is lined with cafes and antique shops. You can even visit the shop where Hugh Grant’s character worked in the film. (Tubes: Notting Hill Gate, Ladbroke Grove)

8. You have to try some local specialties when eating out

Two famous local specialties are:
1.      Fish and chips: This speaks for itself! There all sorts of fish to try, but for authentic ‘fish and chips’ try cod. A great place to try it is The Golden Hind (73 Marylebone Lane; Tube: Bond St) off the top of Oxford Street

2.      Sausage and mash: This is sausage and mashed potatoes. Sausages are generally made from pork although there are lots of variations. To try this visit the S & M Cafe (48 Brushfield Street; Tube: Liverpool Street) in the east end of the city centre

9. Shop around when looking for discounted theatre tickets

Along with New York’s Broadway, London’s West End is the most famous theatre district in the world. The best known place to get discounted tickets is the TKTS Booth in Leicester Square but shop around other booths, also around Leicester Square, along with ones around Piccadilly Circus.

10. Go east rather than west for nightlife

Even though there are loads of bars around Piccadilly Circus and Soho in the West End, you should check out some of areas east of the city for bars like Shoreditch and Hoxton. Bars mentioned in the video are:
1.      Big Chill Bar (Dray Walk, off Brick Lane; Tube Liverpool Street, Aldgate East): One of London’s coolest bars and has different DJs every night of the week.

2.      Jam and Kick Near the corner of Shoreditch High Street and Old Street and always busy on weekends.

3.      Bluu (1 Hoxton Square; Tube: Old St): On the site of the old Blue Note jazz club and the best bar around Hoxton Square.




Tell the Truth


Denzel Washington
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Remember this next time you walk up to the ticket window of your local movie theater with $10 in your hand.

Don't know whether you heard about this but Denzel Washington and his family visited the troops at Brooks Army Medical Center in San Antonio, Texas,(BAMC) the other day.  This is where soldiers who have been evacuated from Germany come to be hospitalized in the United States, especially burn victims.

There are some buildings there called Fisher Houses.

The Fisher House is a hotel where soldiers' families can stay, for little or no charge, while their soldier is in the hospital.  BAMC has quite a few of these houses on base, but as you can imagine, they are almost filled most of the time.

While Denzel Washington was visiting BAMC, they gave him a tour of one of the Fisher Houses.  He asked how much one of them would cost to build. He took his checkbook out and wrote a check for the full amount right there on the spot.

The soldiers overseas were amazed to hear this story and want to get the word out to the American public, because it warmed their hearts to hear it.

Apology Letters - Spouses
Hi Sweetheart,
I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas lights.  I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you want something.  I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a hard-headed guy.  All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season.  Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas lights!  I took the time to hang the lights for you today; and now I will be off to play some golf...
Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday.  I'll be home late.

Hi Honey,

Thank you for that heart-felt apology. I don't often get an apology from you, and I truly appreciate it. I, too, felt bad about the argument and wanted to apologize. I realize that I can sometimes be a little pushy.  I will try to respect your feelings from now on.  Thank you for taking the time to hang the Christmas lights for me. It really means a lot. In the spirit of giving, I washed your truck for you; and now I am off to the mall.
I love you too!



Only in Texas







Move over Tesla
Former Tesla employee starts a new company - reserve one today.

Driving Dogs


watch video here

Steak Aging
If you have ever tasted dry aged beef then you know what a treat it is. This device goes into your fridge and helps to age your beef perfectly - all for $249.  check it out herevideo here

Big Balloon

These are not brownies

Wombats mark their territory by their excrement.  Really.  Wombats poop squares.  Really.
click for video

Joke of the Day

Anton, do you think I’m a bad mother?

My name is Paul.

Postcard from Summer


Creative Christmas Lighting






"The most important six inches on the battlefield is between your ears."

- General James "Mad Dog" Mattis

TURNkey Hall of Fame


“I don’t quite see how this is going to work.”

Impossibly Easy Cheeseburger Pie


1 lb lean (at least 80%) ground beef
1 large onion, chopped (1 cup)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese (4 oz)
1/2 cup Original Bisquick™ mix
1 cup milk
2 eggs

Heat oven to 400°F. Spray 9-inch glass pie plate with cooking spray.
In 10-inch skillet, cook beef and onion over medium heat 8 to 10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until beef is brown; drain. Stir in salt. Spread in pie plate. Sprinkle with cheese.
In small bowl, stir remaining ingredients with fork or wire whisk until blended. Pour into pie plate.
Bake about 25 minutes or until knife inserted in center comes out clean.
Good and hearty for a cold day...

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Tel: (847) 808-3990
Toll Free: 866 928 8208

Email: info@turnkey.pro