Through the Keyhole

July 2025

Take a break from your day...

Not your typical company OR newsletter

"This Gateway City to the West sounds like a saint that has lost his sense of direction. In fact, they used to have a football team here that moved out west. Oh the irony."

Can you guess the location?

It's already JULY. Holy SMOKES...

July in Chicago is when the city finally exhales. After months of grey skies and bitter wind, summer doesn’t just arrive—it explodes. The streets are packed, the patios are loud, and it feels like everyone is outside trying to soak up every minute of heat and daylight before it disappears again.

The Fourth of July sets the tone early. Fireworks go off everywhere—not just the official ones at Navy Pier, but in neighborhoods all over the city. You’ll see bursts of color over rooftops, hear bottle rockets in alleyways, and smell barbecue from porches and parks. If you’re lucky, you’ll be on a friend’s roof with a cold drink and a view of the skyline lit up like a sparkler.

During the day, people flock to the lakefront. The water is finally warm enough to swim in without turning blue, and beaches like North Avenue and Oak Street feel more like Miami than the Midwest. The Lakefront Trail becomes a steady stream of joggers, bikers, rollerbladers, and people just out for a walk with their dogs or iced coffees.

Every weekend seems to have a different festival—food, music, art, culture—you name it. You might wander into a street fest in Wicker Park, dance salsa at SummerDance in Grant Park, or catch a band you’ve never heard of at Pitchfork and walk away obsessed. Even neighborhoods throw their own block parties with DJs, pop-up bars, and enough grilled corn and tamales to keep you going till midnight.

And the food scene in July? It's all about being outside. Rooftop bars buzz until late, beer gardens are packed, and sidewalk seating fills up fast. Whether you're sipping something fancy in River North or just crushing tacos in Pilsen, it all feels like summer. There’s a kind of unspoken agreement in the air: if it’s warm out, we’re not staying in.

Baseball is huge, too. Wrigley Field is as much a party as it is a game, and even people who don’t follow baseball find themselves on the North Side in Cubs hats. The South Side has a totally different vibe—more relaxed but still full of die-hards and way cheaper beers.

And then, of course, there’s the way the city looks at golden hour. That light bouncing off the glass buildings downtown, the long shadows in Millennium Park, the way everything seems to glow just a little? That’s the kind of stuff that makes even locals stop and remember why they love this place.

July in Chicago isn’t perfect—it can get hot, it can get crowded, and yes, sometimes the L breaks down—but for one solid month, it feels like the city hits its peak. Everyone’s out, everyone’s moving, and for once, no one is thinking about winter.

But maybe you, like me, just want to escape to a lake in Wisconsin or Michigan...

"The Great Hot Dog Incident of the Fourth"

It was Fourth of July, and my cousin Dave had decided this was the year he’d go all-out. I’m talking full-blown backyard bash: inflatable pool, patriotic bunting, a Bluetooth speaker blasting Springsteen, and—his pride and joy—a brand-new propane grill that he had no idea how to use.

Everything was going pretty smoothly at first. The burgers were sizzling, people were sipping beer from red Solo cups, and kids were running around with sparklers like caffeinated fireflies. Dave, wearing an apron that said “Grill Sergeant,” was flipping hot dogs with the confidence of a man who had watched exactly two YouTube tutorials and believed himself to be the Gordon Ramsay of encased meats.

Then came The Incident.

Someone had brought bacon-wrapped hot dogs. Dave—wanting to impress literally everyone—decided to cook them all at once. Every single one. On high heat.

As it turns out, when you line 24 bacon-wrapped hot dogs on a grill at the same time, what you’re actually doing is creating a grease inferno.

The moment he shut the grill lid, the flames reached a height usually reserved for emergency training videos. One guest yelled, “IS THAT PART OF THE SHOW?” as the American flag bunting behind the grill began to curl slightly from the heat.

Dave tried to play it cool, opening the lid with the swagger of a man in complete control. The resulting fireball singed his eyebrows clean off. No one noticed at first—until a gust of wind blew past and we all realized he suddenly looked like a surprised Muppet.

The fire was eventually put out (shout-out to Aunt Lisa’s questionable instinct to use a bag of ice as a fire suppressant), and miraculously, no one was hurt. Except Dave’s ego. And the hot dogs, which were now bacon-wrapped charcoal sticks.

Later that night, after we’d switched to pizza and the fireworks were going off, Dave raised a drink and said, “May we always burn bright... but not literally.”

To this day, the family refers to it as The Great Hot Dog Uprising of '23, and Dave still gets sunscreen rubbed into his forehead by reflex because, well... the eyebrows never really grew back the same.

Time is running out on Windows 10

You have got until the middle of October (just 3 and a half months) to upgrade your pc's to Windows 11. Microsoft will stop supporting the operating system and there is no other alternative unless you want to buy a Mac. It will cost you more to support any unsupported devices.

Most workstations upgrade easily but some will have to be replaced.

Give us a call so you and your team are prepared.

www.turnkey.pro

Guess the Location Game

Last month the winner of the guess the location game was James Lang who guessed the right answer. I appreciate all of the participation. THANKS FOR PLAYING!

ANSWER: Grand Canyon, AZ

"This Natural Wonder is not the deepest of its kind in the world. It's 277 miles long and 18 miles wide. Due to its depth and varying elevations, it can have different climates and weather patterns at the bottom versus the top. And some places in this canyon you are not allowed to see...hmm."

The Grand Canyon, carved over millions of years by the Colorado River, is one of the most awe-inspiring natural wonders in the world—spanning 277 miles long, up to 18 miles wide, and over a mile deep. It’s a sacred site for Indigenous peoples and a geological record of Earth’s ancient past. But beyond its staggering beauty, the Grand Canyon has also become the subject of mystery and conspiracy theories—especially surrounding restricted areas and alleged hidden history.

The Mystery: Why Can’t You See All of the Grand Canyon?

Although the majority of the Grand Canyon is open to the public through national park access points, there are specific sections that are off-limits or extremely difficult to reach. This has fueled speculation about what might be hidden deep inside the canyon’s more remote zones.

Restricted Areas and Permits

Parts of the canyon fall under restricted zones, including:
- Navajo Nation land
- Havasupai and Hualapai tribal areas
- Sensitive ecological and archaeological zones
Some trails and caves are under federal or tribal protection, requiring permits or outright banning entry.

One of the most persistent legends is that a massive underground city of Egyptian or Asian origin was discovered in the early 1900s by an explorer named G.E. Kinkaid, supposedly funded by the Smithsonian. The claim, which appeared in a 1909 Arizona Gazette article, described strange hieroglyphs, statues, and gold artifacts buried in caves within the canyon.

Some people say that there are pyramids there that you cannot visit. Others say these structures are just rock formations rather than eroded structures from ancient people.

Either way, it would be nice if there weren't restrictions on so many places. Add this place to Antarctica and the North Pole. I guess we are just not supposed to know...

El Tovar Hotel ~ 3 minutes

Skywalk ~ 2 minutes

Mysteries of the Grand Canyon ~ 24 minutes

Well this is Random...

Mackinac Island

~ 2 minutes

Grand Hotel

~ 2 minutes

Do you like Fudge?

~ 1 minute

FIREWORKS

Fireworks Safety: Because Losing Eyebrows Isn’t a Good Look

Alright, folks, fireworks are awesome—until they turn your backyard into a scene from an action movie, starring you as the exploding human. So here’s the deal: if you want to light up the sky without lighting up your eyebrows, follow these simple rules.

First off, don’t hold fireworks in your hand unless you’re auditioning for the next superhero who can shoot sparks from their fingers. Spoiler: that’s not a thing, and neither are eyebrows that survive.

Next, when you light that firecracker, step back faster than your Wi-Fi on a bad day. Nobody wants to see your slow-motion run trying to escape a tiny grenade.

If a firework doesn’t go off, don’t be that person poking it like it owes you money. Wait like you’re ignoring a bad text—at least 20 minutes—then dunk it in water like it just confessed to something horrible.

And please, keep the booze and fireworks separate. You don’t want your cousin trying to juggle Roman candles after one too many beers. That’s how you end up with the “Lefty” nickname and a family group chat full of shocked emojis.

Lastly, pets don’t appreciate your Fourth of July extravaganza—they just want to hide under the bed and judge your life choices quietly.

Follow these tips, and you’ll have a blast—literally and figuratively—without turning your celebration into a fire department social event.

An oldie but a goodie...don't do this.