Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Through the Keyhole - December 2016

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     DECEMBER 2016 turnkey-color-logo-white 7
Through the Keyhole

Informative & Interesting... not your everyday company newsletter.
Festive Season is HERE!
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It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... Everywhere you go!

People are decorating their homes, businesses and cities with cheerful lights and garland for the Season.  If you get a chance to see the corner of Dundee and Milwaukee in Wheeling (just two blocks north of TURNkey), you will see a magnificent display that is new this year. 

There are so many places to go and so many things to do, I have compiled a list of my favorites:

1) The Goodman Theater for A Christmas Carol (with dinner preceding at Petterino's)
2) Shopping at Nordstrom (with dinner afterwards at Joe's Stone Crab)
3) Visiting the Bean and people watching
4) Buying Pierogi at Alexandra's on North Central Avenue for Christmas Eve
5) Bowling at an old fashioned bowling alley (like Diversey River Bowl)
6) Visiting as many Dive Bars as you can (Augie's, Friar Tuck's, Jake's, Save More, Kilcoyne's etc.)
7) Visit the Christmas Market outside on Daley Plaza
8) The TURNkey Company Christmas Party
9) Christmas Eve at my Mom's house with the family - kids put on a variety show after dinner
10) Christmas morning at home with coffee cake and presents


And now for a new picture above- Can you guess where it is by looking through the keyhole?  "Made famous by it's many landmarks, this City is really the gateway to Europe and a gem to visit any time of the year.  Christmas shopping is always an adventure at Harrod's." Can you guess the location?

Correct answers will be given recognition but half the fun is trying to figure it out.  The correct answer will be revealed in the subsequent issue.  Good luck and have fun.

If you like this newsletter, forward it to someone else or
sign them up HERE.

As always, send any items you think are newsworthy, interesting or just plain odd to

1060 Project Wrigley Field - Keyhole Answer

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"This gathering place will be completed next year and will be a welcome addition to the city and neighborhood.  Think Cubdom as we are still in it for game 6."
Last month, Bruce Frystak won the location by guessing "the new plaza just outside of Wrigley Field".  Bruce attended game 2 of the NLCS and brought home an L.  He was not allowed to go to any more playoff games...but he did get to see this plaza under construction and it looks like it will be a wonderful upgrade for Wrigleyville.
The 1060 Project, which started at the conclusion of the 2014 baseball season, includes structural upgrades, improved player facilities, new fan amenities, outfield signage, including two video boards, new premier clubs, expanded concessions, new and improved restroom facilities, and much more.

Great ballpark tradition

The restoration and expansion will ensure Wrigley Field remains the most treasured ballpark in America. Open concourses, expanded concession and dining options and better restroom facilities will appeal to fans, reduce lines and ensure fans can enjoy more baseball from their seats. Replaced and renovated concrete and steel, new roofs and other structural repairs will keep the Friendly Confines alive and thriving for another generation.

Great baseball tradition

From Tinker, Evers and Chance, to Phil Cavarretta, to Anthony Rizzo and Kris Bryant, the Chicago Cubs have enjoyed a great tradition of baseball talent. Developing a winning tradition includes having best-in-class facilities for our players. The improvements for Wrigley Field include a better clubhouse, strength and conditioning facilities and training and practice areas. These upgraded player facilities will put the Cubs in a better position for sustained on-field success.

Great neighborhood tradition

A renewed Wrigley Field will help maintain the neighborhood's great character and enhance the quality of life in the Lakeview community. Neighbors, visitors and fans will have an opportunity to experience the excitement of Wrigley Field in an open, fun and entertaining atmosphere. These additions will help support local businesses and keep Wrigley Field a thriving contributor to the local economy.

Great business tradition

Wrigley Field's neighborhood location supports local business. Every home game, Cubs fans shop, dine and stay in locally owned bars, restaurants, hotels and stores in unprecedented numbers. A recent report indicated fans spend, on average, $104 per visit, bringing hundreds of thousands of dollars to local businesses during every home game. Making sure Wrigley Field continues to provide a great fan experience is vital to the thriving Lakeview neighborhood.

11 things you might not know about Wrigley

1. Wrigley Field was not built for the Chicago Cubs but rather for the Chicago Federals (known as the “Chi-Feds”) of the short-lived Federal League. The Chi-Feds changed their name to the Chicago Whales in 1915, and are the last professional baseball team to call the ballpark at Clark and Addison their home field and win a respective league championship. When the Federal League folded at the end of 1915, Whales owner Charles Weeghman and a consortium of men including J. Ogden Armour and William Wrigley were allowed to purchase the Chicago Cubs and move them from the West Side Grounds in today’s Little Italy to the North Side.
2. Before Wrigley was built, the site was home to a Lutheran seminary. The Lutheran seminary moved to nearby Maywood as a result of the noise coming from the local elevated train. DePaul University’s athletic director, who was familiar with the site, advised Charles Weeghman to build his Federal League park at that location. “Weeghman Park” opened in 1914.
3. The famous ivy in the outfield was planted by former Chicago White Sox owner Bill Veeck in 1937. Veeck, the son of former Cubs president Bill Veeck, Sr., would later own the Cleveland Indians, St. Louis Browns, and the Chicago White Sox. Veeck is also credited with the modernization of the concessions, as well as overseeing the 1937 bleacher and scoreboard construction. That said, the ivy, while planted by Veeck, was the brainchild of P. K. Wrigley, then owner of the club.
4. No baseball has ever hit the Wrigley Field scoreboard (installed, like the ivy, in 1937). The only ball of any kind to hit the scoreboard was a golf ball struck by Hall of Fame golfer Sam Sneed. Sneed teed off from home plate and hit the scoreboard in 1951. The scoreboard is still manually operated. However, the batter number, balls, and strikes are operated electronically. The controls are located in the press box.
5. There’s a big gate in right field. It’s commonly called the “elephant’s gate,” because it was built to bring elephants into the field for the circus. Beside circuses, Wrigley has held a number of events which necessitate those large doors. Today, fans can look through those doors all year round to see what is happening on the field; they’re kept open for viewing.

6. Wrigley was the first park that allowed fans to keep foul balls. Back in 1915, owner Charlie Weeghman announced that the team’s fans would be allowed to keep balls hit into the stands. This was really an effort to show he was a man of means and could afford this “luxury.” Prior to Weeghman’s decision, baseball fans were forced to give the ball back to an usher.
7. The entire idea of having a benefit game or a day honoring an individual/organization also started at Wrigley Field in 1914. The Federal League honored a number of different organizations; the schedule included a Flag Day, a Newsboy Day, a Booster Day, and even a day mourning the lives lost due to the sinking of the SS Eastland on the Chicago River. Weeghman was an expert marketer; he also created the practice of ball clubs giving away an item like a bat or a cap, giving out thousands of team caps and pennants when the team debuted in 1914.
8. The Cubs played a World Series in 1918 during Charles Weeghman’s third season of ownership, but actually played at Comiskey Park, home of the Chicago White Sox, instead of Weeghman Park. While both Comiskey Park and Wrigley Field were designed by architect Zachary Taylor Davis, Comiskey was larger at the time. Weeghman, wanting more profits from more fans, had the games played at Comiskey. This gave the Boston Red Sox de facto home field advantage, as the Red Sox were much more familiar with Comiskey than the hometown Cubs were. The Red Sox were led by future Hall of Famer Babe Ruth, who would later play a major role in the 1932 World Series between the Cubs and the New York Yankees with his so-called “Called Shot.” Today, Wrigley Field has a larger capacity than the current home of the White Sox, Guaranteed Rate Field.(Stupidest name in the world).
9. There were actually two Wrigley Fields for some time. In 1925, in Los Angeles, William Wrigley built a ballpark named Wrigley Field for his minor league team. If you can’t make it to Wrigley Field in Chicago, you can play in Little Wrigley Field, a tee-ball field in Freeport, Illinois. “Little Wrigley Field” is a scale replica of the Friendly Confines, including a brick wall.
10. Wrigley Field has long been a multi-sport facility. While it has long housed baseball, the NFL and the Chicago Bears also called Wrigley home from 1921 to 1970. Beyond that, professional wrestling, boxing, all-American girls baseball, the first international competition in softball, soccer, college football, professional basketball, concerts, religious revivals, a hippodrome, major motion pictures, and even rodeos have used Wrigley Field. The most unusual non-baseball event was probably a competition of the Norge Ski Club, in which Sgt. Alvin Torkle made a jump from where today’s press box currently stands to short center field.
11. I wouldn’t park a car next to the ballpark on a game day. In a true oddity, on June 13, 1956 a fan’s car was hit by not one but by two home run balls as he had left his car parked outside the ballpark on Waveland Avenue. Cubs Eddie Miksis and Giants Willie Mays both hit the parked car—while the fan was inside watching the game!

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Hipster Nativity Scene

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A “Hipster Nativity” set being peddled by a group of friends features Joseph sporting a lumberjack beard and a man bun while he uses his iPhone to selfie the moment as the Segway-riding wise men present baby Jesus with amazon.com boxes.

Space Pen
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When NASA started sending astronauts into space they quickly discovered that ball-point would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, Congress approved a program and NASA scientists spent a decade and over $165 million developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C. 

The Russians used a pencil...

In case you missed the Super Moon
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You can easily recreate it with a tortilla on your window...

Electionwear...(all available on Amazon) REALLY
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What things used to look like

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1964 Supermarket
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Phone from Car 1959
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Hot Dog Stand 1947
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Orange Bowl 1955
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Sales Pitch 1953
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1960s classic lunch counter
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Bellflower, CA 1953 - MOVE IN DAY
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Central Park NY 1900

Using Vinegar for lots of things

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Vinegar is a common ingredient in countless homemade cleaners and is especially helpful for cleaning household appliances.

    Bring a solution of one-cup vinegar and four tablespoons baking soda to a boil in teapots and coffeepots to rid them of mineral deposits.

    A solution of vinegar and baking soda will easily remove cooking oil from your stovetop.

    Clean the filter on your humidifier by removing it and soaking it in a pan of white vinegar until all the sediment is off.

    Saturate a cloth with vinegar and sprinkle with baking soda, and then use it to clean fiberglass tubs and showers. Rinse well and rub dry for a spotless shine.

    For a clean oven, combine vinegar and baking soda, then scrub.

    Clean and deodorize your toilet bowl by pouring undiluted white vinegar into it. Let stand for five minutes, then flush. Spray stubborn stains with white vinegar, then scrub vigorously.

    Clean windows with a cloth dipped in a solution of one part white vinegar and 10 parts warm water. This works for dirty TV screens, too!

    To clean drip coffeemakers, fill the reservoir with white vinegar and run it through a brewing cycle. Rinse thoroughly by brewing two cycles with water before using.

    To remove bumper stickers from car chrome, paint on vinegar and let it soak in. Next, scrape off the stickers. Decals can be removed similarly.

    Rid your refrigerator and freezer of bad odors by cleaning the insides with a solution of equal parts vinegar and water, then wiping dry.

    To remove smoke odors on clothes, hang them above a steaming bathtub filled with hot water and a cup of white vinegar.

    To prevent mildew, wipe down surfaces with vinegar.

    Use a sponge dampened with vinegar to clean shower curtains.

    To loosen a stuck jar lid, hold the jar upside down and pour warm vinegar around the neck at the joint between the glass and the top.

Go Cubs Go - Pennant WIN 1 mile away (video)
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video here

Daylight Savings (why?)


Joke of the Day
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

Neighbors that don't agree
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These are real notes written by parents in the Middletown school district.
Spellings have been left intact.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please
execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan . 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. For a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip..

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt  in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray Friday from school.. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had  the shits.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13.. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with  gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a hangover...

22. Please excuse Brenda . She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore  throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.


"You're my boy, Blue."

- Will Ferrell "Old School"

Thanksgiving FAIL.

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For the record, this is NOT my turkey.  Ugh.

Twix Pound Cake

Twix Pound Cake

•    1 (16oz) Frozen Pound Cake, thawed (or homemade)
•    8oz. soft caramels (such as Kraft), unwrapped
•    2 tbsp evaporated milk
•    6oz. chocolate almond bark (found in the baking isle)

1.    Place the pound cake on a sheet of parchment paper.
2.    Melt the caramel and evaporated milk in a double boiler, stirring until soft and smooth. Remove bowl from heat and let cool completely. Spread/pour the caramel over the pound cake, try to not let it drizzle over the sides. Chill in fridge for at least 10 to 15 minutes.
3.    Melt the chocolate almond bark according to package instructions and spread over the top of the pound cake, spreading it on the sides as much as possible. Let the chocolate harden, slice and enjoy!

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Monday, October 31, 2016

Through the Keyhole - November 2016

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     NOVEMBER 2016 turnkey-color-logo-white 7
Through the Keyhole

Informative & Interesting... not your everyday company newsletter.
Hell Hath Frozen!
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And now for a new picture above- Can you guess where it is by looking through the keyhole?  "This gathering place will be completed next year and will be a welcome addition to the city and neighborhood.  Think Cubdom as we are still in it for game 6." Can you guess the location?

Correct answers will be given recognition but half the fun is trying to figure it out.  The correct answer will be revealed in the subsequent issue.  Good luck and have fun.

If you like this newsletter, forward it to someone else or
sign them up HERE.

As always, send any items you think are newsworthy, interesting or just plain odd to

Munich, Germany - Keyhole Answer

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"This one is so easy, I cannot give you a clue that would be more obvious.  Think of the month and look at the picture of this famous city..."
No one guessed this location correctly and that really disappoints me.  Is it the the location was too easy, or are my readers becoming complacent.  Guesses motivate me to continue putting this labor of love together... SO KEEP GUESSING.

Munich is the capital city of Bavaria. Within the city limits, Munich has a population of more than 1.4 million, making it the third-most populous city in Germany. The Munich metropolitan region which extends to cities like Augsburg or Ingolstadt had a population of more than 5.6 million in 2008.

Munich, located at the river Isar in the south of Bavaria, is famous for its beautiful architecture, fine culture, and the annual Oktoberfest beer celebration.

Munich's cultural scene is second to none in Germany, with the museums even considered by some to outrank Berlin in quality. Many travelers to Munich are absolutely stunned by the quality of the architecture. Although it was heavily damaged by allied bombing during World War II, many of its historic buildings have been rebuilt and the city center appears mostly as it did in the late 1800s including its largest church, the Frauenkirche, and the famous city hall (Neues Rathaus).

Munich is a major international center of business, engineering, research and medicine exemplified by the presence of two research universities, a multitude of smaller colleges, headquarters of several multinational companies and world-class technology and science museums like the Deutsches Museum and BMW Museum. It is Germany's most prosperous city and makes it repeatedly into the top 10 of global quality-of-life rankings. Munich's ability to stay at the forefront of technological developments and maintain its cultural heritage is often summarized in the characterization as a city of "laptop and lederhosen".

Top 10 (fun) facts about Munich

1. Munich is located further North than any other major city in the United States

2. Beer is not considered an alcoholic beverage but food in Bavaria

3. The Bayerische Biergartenverordnung (former Bayerisches Biergartengesetz) allows you to bring your own food to a beer garden and of course also eat it there.

4. The world famous Oktoberfest actually starts in mid-September, not in Oktober as it did until 1871. The reason is easy: the weather is just better in September!

5. Europe’s biggest film studios, the Bavaria Filmstudios, are in Munich.

6. Munich is also called “Minga” instead of München – but mostly not by people who live in Munich but people from the villages and cities around.

7. The Underground of Munich was built for the Olympic Games 1972.

8. Never order anything but a Bavarian beer in Bavaria.

9. With over 1.5 million inhabitants, Munich is the 3rd biggest city of Germany.

10. Bavaria is just the most beautiful German state.

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TURNkey Chili Cook Off - October 15th Results

1. Melissa "It's always perfect" (40 votes)
2. Ilya "XXX" (30 votes)
3. David "I wish I made that one" (28 votes)
4. Bruce "Cat meat fever" (25 votes)
5. Jennifer "Creeper" (20 votes)
6. Lauren "The great pumpking" (16 votes)
7. Phil "Truth or dare" (12 votes)
7. Kurt "Vamplifier" (12 votes)
9. Derek "Moo & oink" (10 votes)
10. Bob "Buffalo Bob's" (6 votes)

Although my wife won the competition and received the coveted trophy, monetary prizes went to Ilya, Bruce and Jennifer for placing 2nd, 4th and 5th respectively. 

It was a great day of fun and a lot of good chilies were made (maybe not Bob's)...

Winning recipe published below (at the very bottom)

Microsoft Surface Studio
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Turn your desk into a Studio.  Look out Apple - this is COOL.

Surface Studio is designed for the creative process. The 28” PixelSense™ Display gives you a huge canvas for all kinds of work. Use it upright, or draw on it like a drafting table.
Starting at $2,999

By Region - this is how we are different
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Christmas tree that grows taller...tree1 2

7 ft. to 10 ft. LED Pre-Lit Adjustable Rising Artificial Spruce Christmas Tree

  • Adjustable height from 7 ft. to 10 ft. with a click of a button
  • Pre-strung with 1150 multicolored LED lights for a festive glow
  • Features a mix of PE and PVC branches for a realistic look
$549.00 /each
home depot buy here  (There is a cool video too on their page demonstrating the tree growing)

Microsoft Big Reveals

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Surface Studio, Surface Book and new Windows 10 features

This is a direct attack on Apple's desktop offerings with its focus on CREATIVE OUTPUT.  Apple's products are aging and Microsoft is going to battle. 

Windows 10 Creator's Update
While the Surface Studio emphasizes creative output of PCs, the Windows 10 Creators Update is supposed to bring creation capabilities to the masses.  The update will be available this spring for Windows 10 users everywhere and will bring a ton of new capabilities.

One of the major emphases of the new release is a focus on creating 3D content. MS Paint is getting a refresh that adds support for creating and manipulating 3D models. Those models can be shared with the world using Microsoft's new Remix 3D community, which will host models shared from Paint 3D, Minecraft and Trimble's SketchUp.

On top of that, the Creators Update also includes some new sharing features that are designed to make it easier for people to share content with people close to them. Portraits of users' close friends will show up in the Windows taskbar. Dragging files onto those portraits will open up a dialog that lets users quickly share those files.

complete article here

12 Habits that are RUDE in other countries
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Giving the Thumbs Up

In Greece, giving the thumbs up sign is the same as giving the middle finger. So instead of saying "great" or "a-okay" like you intended to, you might be saying something much more insulting.

Tipping After Dinner

In Japan, tipping after dinner insinuates people need an incentive to do a good job and wouldn't do their best without the tip. Yikes.

Blowing Your Nose

In China, blowing your nose is regarded as a repulsive act — yes, even if you're sick with a cold. So if you're visiting this country, do this act in the bathroom and not in public.

Sitting in the Back

Going straight to the back seat of a cab is considered egalitarian in counties like Australia, New Zealand, parts of Ireland, Scotland, and the Netherlands. Instead you should ride shot gun if it's available.

Eating Your Entire Meal

In Russia, eating your entire meal signifies you're still hungry and the hosts didn't provide enough food. Funnily enough, in the United States this act shows your host you loved your meal.

Opening a Gift Immediately

If you don't want to look greedy when you receive a gift in China or India, you should wait to open it until you're not with the giver anymore.

Laughing With Your Mouth Open

In Japan, laughing to the point of exposing your teeth is impolite. Instead, you should use your hand to cover your mouth when you can't resist the urge to chuckle when you laugh.

Using Your Left Hand

Since some cultures in Africa, India, Sri Lanka, and the Middle East don't use toilet paper, and use their left hand instead, it's frowned upon to use those five fingers for just about anything else.

Being on Time

Showing up to a party on time in Latin American cultures is basically the equivalent of arriving an hour early in the United States. In this case, being fashionably late is basically required.

Putting Your Hand in Your Pocket

In Turkey and South Korea, it's a sign of arrogance if you put your hand in your pocket. So if you don't want locals to think you have an attitude, keep your mitts out.

Salting Your Food

Sure, it might add a blast of flavor to a bland dish, but in France adding salt to your meal is considered rude to the chef. After all, in this person's mind, they spiced the dish to perfection.

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In the old west a .45 cartridge for a six-gun cost 12 cents, so did a  glass of whiskey. If a cowhand was low on cash he would often give the bartender a cartridge in exchange for a drink.  This became known as a"shot" of whiskey.

American fighter planes in WW2 had machine guns that were fed by a belt of cartridges.  The average plane held belts that were 27 feet (9 yards) long.  If the pilot used up all his ammo he was said to have given it the whole nine yards.

This is synonymous with dying. During WW1 soldiers were given life insurance policies worth $5,000.  This was about the price of an average farm, so if you died you "bought the farm" for your survivors.

This came about from the ironclad ships of the Civil War.  It meant something so strong it could not be broken.

Most men in the early west carried a jack knife made by the Buck knife company.  When playing poker it as common to place one of these Buck knives in front of the dealer so that everyone knew who he was.  When it was time for a new dealer the deck of cards and the knife were given to the new dealer.  If this person didn't want to deal he would "pass the buck" to the next player.  If that player accepted then "the buck stopped there".

The Mississippi River was the main way of traveling from north to south. Riverboats carried passengers and freight but they were expensive so most people used rafts.  Everything had the right of way over rafts which were considered cheap. The steering oar on the rafts was called a "riff" and this transposed into riff-raff, meaning low class.

The Old English word for "spider" was "cob".

Traveling by steamboat was considered the height of comfort.  Passenger cabins on the boats were not numbered.  Instead they were named after states.  To this day cabins on ships are called staterooms.

Early beds were made with a wooden frame. Ropes were tied across the frame in a crisscross pattern. A straw mattress was then put on top of the ropes. Over time the ropes stretched, causing the bed to sag.  The owner would then tighten the ropes to get a better night's sleep.

These were floating theaters built on a barge that was pushed by a steamboat.
These played small town along the Mississippi River.  Unlike the boat shown in the movie "Showboat" these did not have an engine.  They were gaudy and attention grabbing which is why we say someone who is being the life of the party is "showboating".

In the days before CPR a drowning victim would be placed face down over a barrel and the barrel would be rolled back and forth in an effort to empty the lungs of water.  It was rarely effective.  If you are over a barrel you are in deep trouble.

Heavy freight was moved along the Mississippi in large barges pushed by steamboats.  These were hard to control and would sometimes swing into piers or other boats.  People would say they "barged in".

Steamboats carried both people and animals.  Since pigs smelled so bad that they would be washed before being put on board. The mud and other filth that was washed off was considered useless "hog wash".

The word "curfew" comes from the French phrase "couvre-feu", which means "cover the fire".  It was used to describe the time of blowing out all lamps and candles. It was later adopted into Middle English as "curfeu", which later became the modern "curfew". In the early American colonies homes had no real fireplaces so a fire was built in the center of the room.  In order to make
sure a fire did not get out of control during the night it was required that, by an agreed upon time, all fires would be covered with a clay pot called a "curfew".

When the first oil wells were drilled they had made no provision for storing the liquid so they used water barrels.  That is why, to this day, we speak of barrels of oil rather than gallons.

As the paper goes through the rotary printing press friction causes it to heat up.
Therefore, if you grab the paper right off the press it's hot.  The expression means to get immediate information.

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Joke of the Day

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Nine you're Fine TEN YOU'RE MINE
Driving School Taught By First Responders

Become an excellent driver with training from FIVE-O Driving School, a driving school in the Northwest Suburbs. We offer the finest education for teenagers. Our curriculum is the same used in high schools throughout the country!

Dive with a Crocodile (Ugh.)16 2

That's right.  You can dive with a crocodile.  That looks like Kyle Schwarber...
Book your trip here (Australia)

Top Earners with something in common 2016
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1. Elizabeth Taylor - $8M
2. David Bowie - $10.8M
3. Albert Einstein - $11.5M
4. John Lennon - $12M
5. Dr. Seuss - $20M
6. Bob Marley - $21 M
7. Prince - $25M
8. Elvis - $27M
9. Arnold Palmer - $40M
10. Charles Shulz - $48M
11. Michael Jackson - $825M

Three Dogs

Three handsome male dogs were walking down the street when they saw a beautiful, enticing, female poodle. The three male dogs fell over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but ended up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males were speechless before her beauty, slobbering all over themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return. Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decided to be kind and tell them:

“The first one who can use the words “liver” and “cheese” together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me.”

The sturdy, muscular black lab speaks up quickly and says “I love liver and cheese.”

“Oh, how childish,” said the poodle. “That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever.”

She turned to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and said “How well can you do?”

“Ummmm...I HATE liver and cheese,” blurted the Golden Retriever.

“My, my,” said the Poodle. “I guess it’s hopeless. That’s just as dumb as the lab’s sentence.”

She then turned to the final dog and said, “How about you, little guy?”

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, was the Taco Bell chihuahua. He gave her a smile, a sly wink, turned to the Golden Retriever and the lab and said....

“Liver alone, cheese mine."

Bruce is this you?


"Don't ever permit the pressure to exceed the pleasure."

- Joe Maddon

Kid vs. Barber

22 2

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!

"It's Always Perfect" Chil
7 2


1 Pkg. Ground Turkey
1 Pkg. Ground Chicken
1 Onion – chopped
1 Green Pepper – chopped
2 cans of Stewed Tomatoes (chili seasoned)
1 large can (28 oz.) Crushed Tomatoes
1 can Chili Beans (medium spicy)
1 pkg. Chili Seasoning
Brown Sugar
Cayenne Pepper (dried seasoning)
Chipotle Chili Pepper (bottled)
Garlic Salt

1.     Brown ground turkey in skillet.  While cooking, season with garlic salt. Finish when turkey is “crumbly” and all pink color is gone.  Drain and put in chili pot.
2.    Brown ground chicken in same skillet (with the residue from the cooked turkey still in pan).  While cooking, season with the liquid Chipotle Chili Pepper flavor.  Finish when chicken is “crumbly” and all pink color is gone.  Drain and add to chili pot.
3.    In same skillet, add some olive oil to the residue from the cooked chicken and turkey.
4.    Add 2/3 of the chopped onion and all of the chopped green pepper to skillet. Saute the vegetables until the onions are clear and peppers a little softened.  While cooking, sprinkle the mixture with Cayenne Pepper (seasoned to liking).
5.    Once cooked, add to chili pot and mix.
6.    Add all the cans of tomatoes and chili beans to chili pot (DO NOT DRAIN cans before adding them).
7.    Mix well
8.    Turn on heat low to medium
9.    Add entire package of Chili Seasoning & mix well
10.    Add about (I usually eye it, but approx.) ½ cup packed brown sugar, ½ cup of sugar
11.    Season with additional Cayenne pepper and liquid Chipotle Chili Pepper to liking
12.    Mix well and bring up to a slow boil.
13.    Once boiling, lower heat to low or extra low.  I don’t totally cover pot with lid, but leave the lid a little off-center so the pot can “breathe”.
14.    Cook super low and slow, mixing occasionally.  I’ve let this chili simmer for an hour up to 4 hours.  Whatever fits your “dining” schedule.
15.    When ready to eat, use rest of chopped onion for topping.  Add shredded cheese, oyster crackers and sour cream as desired.
A nice addition to this meal is a double-box of cornbread cooked and served hot with some honey.
A cold beer is also quite tasty as well!

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