Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Through The Keyhole - August 2017


guess the location
     AUGUST 2017 turnkey-color-logo-white 7
Through the Keyhole

Informative & Interesting... not your everyday company newsletter.
Take the waaaaay back machine to 1986!  Remember this? 

This was really a comeback album with a new sound for Mr. Clapton.  I listened to it for the first time in years and am surprised at how it really holds up after all of this time.  For those of you who do not remember, "It's in the way that you use it" was the signature tune was used in the film The Color of Money with Paul Newman and Tom Cruise.  Take a look at the YouTube video HERE if you have some time...and want to laugh at Tom Cruise.

A couple of things
- This time of year you begin to see Back to School ads everywhere.  I HATE BACK TO SCHOOL ADS.  I know I have been out of school for some time now but seeing those ads make me think back to when I was a kid dreading to go back to school.  It's not that I didn't like school - I just didn't like how the ads made you feel.  Letdown. Anxious. Sad.  And another thing - I HATE #2 pencils.  They remind me of standardized tests, the ACT, the SAT.  Maybe I should go see someone about this...

Who doesn't love some good surfing?


What I DO LOVE really at any time of year is watching surfing.  As the official end of summer is approaching, take a moment to watch some of the world's best surfing HERE.

And now for a new picture above- Can you guess where it is by looking "through the keyhole"? 
"This high land sports some deep, freshwater with plenty of peat so you can't see very far into the water.  Don't look too long for Nessie as she hasn't been seen for years... " 
Can you guess the location?

Correct answers will be given recognition but half the fun is trying to figure it out.  The correct answer will be revealed in the subsequent issue.  Good luck and have fun.

If you like this newsletter, forward it to someone else or
sign them up HERE.

As always, send any items you think are newsworthy, interesting or just plain odd to

Geneva, Switzerland - Keyhole Answer

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"This City is home to a large hadron collider and has a convention named after it.  You also can find many towns in the United States that share the name. "
Last month, Valerie Faivre won the location by guessing correctly.  She correctly said "I should know that as my family used to live there."  That was too easy Valerie (and good for you)!

Geneva is the second most populated city in Switzerland and is French speaking.  Approximately 500,000 people live in the greater Geneva area (inner ring suburbs and city).  It is home to the United Nations and the Red Cross. 

Geneva is home to the Large Hadron Collider (LHC).  The LHC is the world's largest and most powerful particle collider, most complex experimental facility ever built, and the largest single machine in the world. It was built by the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) between 1998 and 2008 in collaboration with over 10,000 scientists and engineers from over 100 countries, as well as hundreds of universities and laboratories.

Cost of Living (you better have a lot of cash if you visit)

Big Mac Meal $15
Dozen Eggs $7
2 liter of Coke $3
1 gallon Milk $7
1 beer in the supermarket $2
20 lb. potatoes $30

It is the place where the Geneva Conventions were signed which mainly concern the treatment of non-combatants and prisoners of war. Geneva is the world's 9th most important financial centers and is named the third highest quality of life of any city in the world (behind Vienna and Zurich).  It has been referred to as the "Peace Capital" of the world.
I guess you can see why when you look at the view...

Geneva in photos...

This place is breathtaking.  These photos almost don't look real.

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Stand up.
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'


The CLOUD Explained...29

Just for fun






13 Of The Most Ridiculous (stupid waste of time) World Records Held By America
The largest number of surfers catching a wave on a single surfboard

The world's largest rubber band ball

The world's longest pizza

The most people twerking at a single location

The person with the world's longest fingernails

The person with the world's largest collection of sneakers

The most people opening umbrellas at the exact same time

The largest gathering of people in sombreros

The world's most expensive dessert

The largest margarita in the world

The world's largest piƱata

The biggest popcorn ball in the world

The most people doing jumping jacks in 24 hours

So Stupid...

"Mad Dog" Mattis REAL Quote of the month

“Bloom where you are planted.”


Don't Brag
I don't mean to brag but I still fit into the socks I wore in high school.

Clay says goodbye to Jay18 2

It the Buffalo Bills Fault

50 Years Married (FUNNY)

After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa-bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV. But hey I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.

Now ... I have a $750,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 73-year-old woman.  So I said to my wife "it seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman.  She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Tough Questions (Quiz)
    Question 1:
        If you knew a woman who was pregnant,
        Who had 8 kids already,
        Three who were deaf,
        Two who were blind,
        One mentally retarded,
        And she had syphilis,
        Would you recommend that she have an abortion?
                Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.
        Question 2:
        It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts..
        Here are the facts about the three candidates.
        Candidate A:
        Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists.
        He's had two mistresses.
        He also chain smokes
        And drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
        Candidate B:
        He was kicked out of office twice,
        Sleeps until noon,
        Used opium in college
        And drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.
        Candidate C:
        He is a decorated war hero.
        He's a vegetarian,
        Doesn't smoke,
        Drinks an occasional beer
        And never committed adultery.
        Which of these candidates would be our choice?
        Decide first ... No peeking, and then scroll down for the response.
        Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
        Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
        Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.
        And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
        If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.
        Pretty interesting, isn't it?   Makes a person think before judging someone.
        Amateurs ... Built the ark.
        Professionals ... Built the Titanic

Whiskey Philosophy
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Grand Old Pics
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2 Monkeys Were Paid Unequally; See What Happens Next


This is short, but it definitely packs a punch. Be sure to pay close attention from 1:34 to 2:06; it's like equal parts "America's Funniest Home Videos" and "Econ 101."
You will Laugh out Loud (video HERE)

Conchita's Mango Salsa

This is a very simple recipe to make that will impress your guests (and you don't have to reveal your source).  Great on pork chops, fish or just plain tortilla chips.  I got it by watching a good friend of mine make it.  It is authentic Mexican cuisine and muy delicioso...


1 clove of garlic (whole)
1/2 white onion chopped
2 ripe mangos chopped
3 habanero peppers

De-seed and stem the pepper (wear gloves) and chop the mangos and onion.  Simmer all ingredients in olive oil for 5 minutes.  Add water just to cover.  Bring to boil then add to blender and blend.  Add salt to taste.

You will love it.


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Tel: (847) 808-3990
Toll Free: 866 928 8208

Email: info@turnkey.pro

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Through the Keyhole - July 2017

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guess the location
     JULY 2017 turnkey-color-logo-white 7
Through the Keyhole

Informative & Interesting... not your everyday company newsletter.
Hello Midwest Summer!
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I hope your 4th of July was GREAT!  This is being sent to you on the 5th as there is no way I was going to allow it to get lost in your email after a long Holiday weekend. I hope all of your digits are securely on your fingers and no one was injured while lighting and watching things being blown up...

I also hope you had a chance to take in some good BBQ and participate in some good old Americana.

I have a couple of personal recommendations for places you can visit this summer that are within driving distance...

#1 The EAA AirVenture in Oshkosh, WI
July 24 - 30 - The biggest and best air show you will ever see.  A great static display of everything from little go carts with wings, to experimental helicopters and amphibious planes and magnificent jets.  Air Shows every day and even one or two at night.  Over 10,000 planes fly in every year and people come from all over the world to see something that is just 2 hours away from us.
Watch video here.  Buy tickets here.

#2 Milwaukee Summerfest 50th year - everyone from Red Hot Chili Peppers to Luke Bryan, Steve MIller, Paul Simon, Sheryl Crow, The Moody Blues and Peter Frampton will be there.  Don't forget Huey Lewis and The News on July 7th.  See lineup here.

#3 Ann Arbor Summer Festival - Today, the Festival produces two concurrent programs, one indoor and one outdoor, at various venues and spaces across the University of Michigan campus and in downtown Ann Arbor. The indoor Mainstage series includes ticketed performances of world-class music, dance, theater, and comedy. The outdoor program, Top of the Park, is held along a beautiful campus green and offers admission-free concerts, movies under the stars, open-air spectacles, and unique family attractions.  This is a cool, college town with lots to see.  Check it out here.

#4 Tour of Champions Drum Corps International DeKalb, IL July 15th - Full disclosure - I was in marching band in high school and was in awe of these musicians... Amazing Drum Corps like The Cadets, Cavaliers, Crossmen, Phantom Regiment and Santa Clara Vanguard will be there.  This is a marching band competition on steroids.  Check out a video here.  Buy tickets here.

And now for a new picture above- Can you guess where it is by looking "through the keyhole"? 
"This City is home to a large hadron collider and has a convention named after it.  You also can find many towns in the United States that share the name. " 
Can you guess the location? Also, you get extra special points and a Lamborghini if you can name the movie pictured in the clue (a 1980 classic).

Correct answers will be given recognition but half the fun is trying to figure it out.  The correct answer will be revealed in the subsequent issue.  Good luck and have fun.

If you like this newsletter, forward it to someone else or
sign them up HERE.

As always, send any items you think are newsworthy, interesting or just plain odd to

Lincoln Park Lagoon-Chicago, IL - Keyhole Answer


"This City is home to one of the world's last free zoos and the river actually flows backwards.  It's also home to one of the largest collections of Impressionist paintings and was the site of the first blood bank."
Last month, Ralph Grande won the location by guessing correctly.  He correctly said "Lincoln Park Lagoon, view from the north, looking south."  Special props go out to Bob Conway who named the movie "My Bodyguard" as the source of the picture above.  Great work - Bob your Lamborghini has been ordered and will be here tomorrow (along with the free beer)...

If you have never seen it, the movie is available on Amazon Prime movies.  They don't make movies like that one anymore... It is a heartfelt story of a kid who gets bullied and finds an unlikely bodyguard to protect him.  Matt Dillon is the antagonist and there are appearances by Joan Cusack and Adam Baldwin (of Full Metal Jacket fame).

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See official trailer here. It's worth the $3.99 to rent this Chicago based classic.

Chicago in photos...

Since we all live here and probably know a thing or two about the City we live in and around, I have decided to simply show some photos.
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Email Spoofing - LOOK OUT!6

Email spoofing is the FORGERY of an email header so that the message appears to have originated from someone other than the actual source.  For instance, you get an email from what appears to be FedEx or PayPal asking you to verify your information.  However, when you hover over the address you may see some other address.  Additionally, this has happened several times as controllers and CFO's are tricked into wiring money as they receive explicit instructions from (what looks like) their boss.

BE CAREFUL.  And the best news of all is that we still have other ways to communicate rather than just email.  Pick up the phone or better yet visit with someone in person if you get the chance.  Don't blindly send money or give ANY INFORMATION that is not necessary. If it looks suspicious IT IS.  DELETE IT!

There are other options today...
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This looks like a new European trend based on the plates.

Poorly Timed Selfies (or good photoshopping)
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22 Celebrities Who Changed Their Names Once They Became Famous
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1. Jamie Foxx
Real Name: Eric Marlon Bishop

2. Katy Perry
Real Name: Katy Hudson

3. Louis C.K.
Real Name: Louis Szekely

4. Olivia Wilde
Real Name: Olivia Jane Cockburn

5. Bruno Mars
Real Name: Peter Gene Hernandez

6. Stevie Wonder
Real Name: Steveland Judkins

7. Natalie Portman
Real Name: Natalie Herschlag

8. Ben Kingsley
Real Name: Krishna Pandit Bhanji

9. Tina Fey
Real Name: Elizabeth Fey

10. Albert Brooks
Real Name: Albert Einstein

11. Helen Mirren
Real Name: Ilyena Lydia Vasilievna Mironov

12. Faith Hill
Real Name: Audrey Faith Perry

13. Alicia Keys
Real Name: Alicia Augello Cook

14. Vin Diesel
Real Name: Mark Sinclair Vincent

15. Calvin Harris
Real Name: Adam Richard Wiles

16. Elton John
Real Name: Reginald Kenneth Dwight

17. John Legend
Real Name: John Rogers Stephens

18. Jack Black
Real Name: Thomas Jacob Black

19. Miley Cyrus
Real Name: Destiny Hope Cyrus

20. Michael Caine
Real Name: Maurice Joseph Micklewite

21. Frank Ocean
Real Name: Christopher Edwin Breau

22. Diplo
Real Name: Thomas Wesley Pentz

"Mad Dog" Mattis REAL Quote of the month

"PowerPoint makes us stupid."

Rules to live by (rumored to be said by Bill Gates)
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Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something
BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: They called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were:
So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer.
*This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers
are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. *Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one..

The Airhook.
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A revolutionary all-in-one cup and electronics holder that gives you additional legroom.  Very ingenious.

Amazing Places on Our Planet24 2
This video was sent to me by my Aunt Connie and it really is a refreshing look around the world in a short period of time.  Enjoy the view.

It is about 13 minutes but a good watch and break from politics...

Click here.

More Tree Cutting FAILS

Last month people really enjoyed watching stupid people cut down trees.  Here is some more of the same...

Watch here.

Every Garden Needs a Trampoline.
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How Led Zeppelin Got Its Name
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Weirdly, Led Zeppelin wasn't named by anyone in Led Zeppelin. Rather, the band's name was inspired by a crack made by Keith Moon, drummer of The Who. In a recording studio, Moon and several other musicians who went on to great things, like Jeff Beck and Jimmy Page, laid down a new song. Moon remarked:"Yeah. We’ll call it Lead Zeppelin. Because it will go over like a f***ing lead balloon.” Two years later, when naming a new band, Jimmy Page remembered that story and spiced it up a little bit, changing the spelling to Led so people wouldn't be confused and pronounce it Leed Zeppelin.

For the record, I have no idea if any of this is true or not.

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Shawshank Redemption Facts
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This is a real magazine ad...from the 50s8 2

Crispy Meatballs
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Everyone has their favorite meatball recipe.  This one incorporates Alton Brown's idea of baking them in a cardboard egg carton.  Make your recipe the way you always do and then put the meatballs in an egg carton.  Bake them as you normally would in the oven.

The cardboard will wick away some of the grease all while crisping up the meatballs.

Give it a try.


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Tel: (847) 808-3990
Toll Free: 866 928 8208

Email: info@turnkey.pro