Through the Keyhole - April 2020

APRIL 2020 Through the Keyhole Take a break from your day... Not your typical company OR newsletter Can you guess the location? "This heartland city was home to Jim Hendry (former Cubs GM) when he coached baseball at a famous college here.  "About Schmidt" was filmed here and it is home to four of the largest companies in the world.  You can see why Mr. Buffett loves it here and stays.  Can you guess the location?" Although this newsletter is primarily for entertainment purposes, I want you all to know that we are operating at 100% and every person in the TURNkey family is here to help you.  If you have questions about collaborative tools like Teams, or would like to do more remotely, please do not hesitate to contact us.  We are here and can provide you the tools you need to survive and thrive in these unbelievably weird times we live in.  Thank GOD we have the tools available today for if this event were to have happened 10 years ago, we would all be in a very different place. The short list of things you may want to know more about: 1) Microsoft Teams (videoconferencing, teleconferencing, instant messaging, file and screen sharing, collaboration) 2) Remote access to your network 3) OneDrive (cloud storage of files and folders)   Again, please call us at 847 808 3990 or email if you need help or have questions or just need help desk support. We are here for you!   Click HERE to learn the CARES Act can help your small business And Now, Keeping it Light   Alright. Who would have thought a month ago that we would be here?  I admit that I didn't.  However, as we find ourselves in this weird moment in time (with virtually nothing to do), let's try to keep it light and have a little fun. Most people have already started some projects around the house and some of us are looking for more things to clean, organize, vacuum, paint, fix, etc.  It is time for a good spring cleaning and that goes for all things (including your liquor cabinet).  Someone said the other day that they had been to the liquor store for the third time this week to purchase enough for two weeks.  Some people are suggesting that you pick up a new language, skill or instrument.  That's a good suggestion and I'll get right on that. Meanwhile, take a few minutes to look through the nonsense I have collected for you this month...   George Carlin had some good quotes... Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything. The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment. Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?   Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.   The future will soon be a thing of the past. Guess the Location Game Last month the winner of the guess the location game was Bruce Frystak who guessed the right answer.  I appreciate all of the participation.  THANKS FOR PLAYING! ANSWER: Monte Carlo, Monaco "Mostly billionaires are the ones that can afford to live and play here in this next level city.  The yachts are amazing and the Oligarchs are aplenty.  A couple of beers at the cafe in casino square will cost you €40 euros. Oh, and there is a really cool race here.  Can you name it?" Credit: GETTY - CONTRIBUTOR I had the privilege a few years ago to visit this city while on a European cruise with my wife for our 20th anniversary.  We arrived on Race Day and the city was bustling with crowds and loud cars racing around the twisty streets.  Once a year, Monte Carlo hosts a Grand Prix in May and it is quite a site to see. The city is EXPENSIVE and home to some of the richest people in the world.  They drive crazy expensive cars and you hear an awful lot of Russian being spoken.  My wife and I had a couple of beers at the cafe next to the casino.  It was €40 euros.  No kidding.  I lost €50 euro in 2 minutes in the casino and left. 20 minutes from Monte Carlo is Nice, France and was a great place to visit (more on that later). Until then, here are some interesting facts about Monte Carlo: Monaco is an independent microstate on France’s Mediterranean coastline known for its glitzy casinos, yacht-lined harbor and prestigious Grand Prix motor race, which runs through Monaco’s streets once a year. Monaco's official name is the Principality of Monaco. It is bordered by France on three sides, with one side bordering the Mediterranean Sea. The official language of Monaco is French. As of 1 January 2016, the population of Monaco was estimated to be 37,393 people. The principality—entirely an urban area—is noted for its beautiful, hilly, rugged, and rocky natural scenery and its sunny Mediterranean climate with mild, wet winters and hot, dry summers moderated by the proximity of the Mediterranean Sea. Monaco gained its independence from the Republic of Genoa on 8th January 1297. Monaco is a constitutional monarchy/principality ruled by a descendant of Grimaldi family, and the oldest ruling house in Europe. The Head of State of Monaco is the Sovereign Prince, His Serene Highness Prince Albert II of Monaco. Up to 2002, it was understood that if their were no heirs of the Grimaldi to rule to country, control of the country would be taken up by France. A treaty between France and Monaco in 2002 meant that should the Grimaldi family leave no heirs, Monaco would still retain its status as an independent nation. The Principality of Monaco is the second smallest country in the world. The smallest is Vatican City. Monaco’s total area is only 2 square kilometers (1.24 square miles). Monaco is the world’s most densely populated state. Monaco is divided into 10 wards. Its also can be divided into 4 areas: Monaco-Ville or Monaco City, la Condamine , Monte-Carlo , and Fontvieille. Monaco City is located on a headland that extends into the Mediterranean Sea, Monaco City is nicknamed The Rock. The name “Monaco City” (French: Monaco-Ville) is misleading, Monaco City is an historical and statistical district, not a city. Known as Europe’s tax haven, each and every individual citizens of Monaco enjoys a tax-free lifestyle since the 1870s. Monaco is one of the richest nations in the world. Natives of Monaco are known as Monegasque, and those residents in Monaco but born elsewhere are known as Monacoian. Natives of the principality are actually the minority, only a fifth of all people living in Monaco being Monegasque. In 1956 American born Grace Kelly became the Princess of Monaco when she married Rainier III the Prince of Monaco. On the day their first child was born, the whole nation took a holiday and even the casino closed for the day. Their second child Albert II is now the present ruler of the principality. The Monaco Grand Prix is a Formula One motor race held each year on the Circuit de Monaco. Drivers take to the streets of Monaco, tackling its tight corners, narrow streets and famous tunnel.Run since 1929, it is widely considered to be one of the most important and prestigious automobile races in the world. Monaco’s flag is the same as the flag of Indonesia. The only difference is that the Indonesian flag is wider. The red and white colours of the flag are the heraldic colours of the Grimaldi House. There is no airport in Monaco. Helicopter services run by Héli-Air Monaco link the principality with the nearest airport, The Nice – Côte d’Azur International Airport is located 22 kilometers (13.7 miles) away from Monaco. Monaco means ” Single House“. A Phocaean Greek colony near Monaco’s present location was known as “Monoikos” its name comes from two Greek words “Monos” which means one or sole and oikos which means house. Monaco has a tourist business that attracts as many as 1.5 million visitors a year. Monaco is one of the safest countries in the world. Grace Kelly retired from acting at the age of 26 to marry Rainier, and began her duties as Princess of Monaco. It is well known that Hitchcock was hoping she would appear in more of his films which required an "icy blonde" lead actress, but he was unable to coax her out of retirement. Kelly and Rainier had three children: Princess Caroline, Prince Albert, and Princess Stéphanie. Kelly retained her link to America by her dual U.S. and Monégasque citizenship. Princess Grace died at Monaco Hospital on September 14, 1982, succumbing to injuries sustained in a traffic collision the previous day. At the time of her death she was 52.  RIP Grace.  You were loved (at least by the generation that knew you). Great video of Monte Carlo - good vlogger.~17 minutes Take a quick look around Monte Carlo ~8 minutes A day in Monte Carlo ~6 minutes Girls driving SUPERCARS in Monte Carlo Great Advice. Check this VIDEO out! This is a great video that talks about the important things in life. A great lesson for our time. (3 minutes) Really? Romantic Comedy Films to WATCH See the complete list HERE Johnny's Math Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, “Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch…; “Johnny!” shouted his mother. “Stop swearing!” “But mom!” Little Johnny protested, “That’s what the teacher taught us! And she said we should recite it till we learned it!” The next day his mother went to the teacher to complain. “No, no.” said the teacher terrified. “That’s not what I taught them. They’re supposed to say: ‘Two plus two, the sum of which is four.'” Just for fun Ok.  Some of these are really good... Social Distancing... Hilarious. ~3 minutes Be Careful During ZOOM Calls... This is embarrassing and really funny at the same time.  VIDEO ~1 minute. I Didn't Know That Most generic pens have some type of hole in their cap, which you’d think had no purpose at all.It was all the rage to chew on the tops of pens in the middle of solving a particularly hairy math problem, but there were times when that pen cap slipped off and right into the mouths of the children. This could easily cause the child to choke, except that the hole allowed for air to circulate, avoiding a tragic end to his life.  The loops are there to hold plastic bags along the edges so that the more delicate items do not get crushed. You would think that the margins on your notebook paper were just there to help you guide your writing into place or to ensure that they fit inside a binder. But there is, in fact, a much more valid reason for this: back when rats were a real problem in peoples’ lives, mechanisms needed to be put into place in order to protect their health and belongings. One way that people managed to save their written documents was by having margins that the rats would chew around, protecting the bulk of their work. Have you ever pulled up to a gas station in a rental car only to sit there wondering which side of the car the gas tank was on? This conundrum need no longer be. You know that little arrow next to the gas gauge? It points to the side of the car where the gas tank gets filled. No, the small hole in elevator doors isn’t a peephole placed there for you to get a split second advantage by knowing who will be exiting the contraption. It would indeed be nice to have such a thing if you want to avoid your boss. Instead, it is there for maintenance purposes, specifically to get people out of the elevator when it malfunctions. If you enjoy drinking your beverages out of glass bottles, there’s a good chance you’re doing it wrong. Most people will hold their drinks around the body of the container because it feels more secure than anywhere else. But the main problem with that is that you quickly transfer your body heat into the drink. So start holding the bottle by its neck.  That means you too Melissa! Door knobs made of brass are not only quite spiffy looking, but they also serve another purpose. As it turns out, brass has strong anti-microbial properties, something that is incredibly beneficial when you’ve got an item that is touched by hundreds of filthy hands per day. Unfortunately, this material is costly and has thus gone out of style. As most people might not have heard of this one, this is perhaps the most useful tip of them all. The dent on a milk jug has two purposes. The first is that it absorbs the shock if and when the jug gets dropped. The other is to expand when there is excess gas in the jug, thus letting the consumer know when the milk has spoiled. Disney's Easter Parade - 2019 Something light and seasonal. ~ 9 minutes New York City - 1911 Fascinating Video It is really interesting to see what life was like, how many structures are still there and how people dressed.  ~8 minutes I'm the Map. UPS Dogs & More... (facebook site) UPS drivers deliver packages all day long. During each day, drivers encounter many dogs, most friendly and some not so nice. When time permits, drivers snap a photo and send it in to UPS Dogs. Our followers love the photos and the stories told as we share our love of these special relationships with these lovable creatures. Since its inception in 2013, UPS Dogs has grown in popularity and we are receiving more and more of your wonderful photos capturing our furry friends. UPS Dogs strives to strike the right balance between posting your entertaining photos and not overwhelming social media feeds. Each day, we look for the best photos to post and try our best to include your submissions on either Facebook or Instagram. Submissions should be emailed to: upsdogs@gmail.com. Please be sure to include a brief caption, the dog's name, and your name and location. We always love to give credit to our army of photographers and canine friends. The site is run by UPS drivers and is not a UPS Corporate-sponsored site. Thank you for being on the front lines... I'm Bored, What Can I Do? Corona Beer Bread (why not?) Ingredients 3 cups Self-Rising Flour 3 Tablespoons Sugar 12 ounces, fluid Beer, At Room Temperature 4 Tablespoons Butter, Melted Directions Grease a 9 x 5 loaf pan with shortening. Preheat oven to 350ºF. Stir flour and sugar together. Pour in beer and stir until foaming subsides and flour is incorporated. Spoon into prepared pan and bake for 50–60 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean or an instant-read thermometer reads about 190ºF. Immediately remove from pan and set on a wire rack on top of a rimmed baking sheet. Pour melted butter over the top and brush sides. Let bread cool for 15 minutes or so, then serve warm. Once the bread is completely cooled, it can be sliced to use for sandwiches, toasted, or served plain.   Or since you have time, try Julia Child's Classic Coq au Vin Coq au vin is one of those French recipes known around the world, yet most people think that the recipe is for chicken. Coq au vin, or rooster in wine, was created as a delicious way to tenderize a tough, old bird in poor households. Today, chicken is widely used and still creates a fabulous dish, but if you can get your hands on an old bird, do try the authentic recipe.  Coq au vin is an excellent, hearty meal that needs little else except good wine to be complete. Ingredients 5 lb chicken (rinsed, patted dry, cut into 6 large pieces) 2 medium carrots (cut into chunks) 2 medium white onion (chopped) 1 stalk celery, (chopped) 1 medium tomato, (chopped) 2 cloves garlic (crushed) ½ teaspoon dried thyme 1 bay leaf 2 tablespoons fresh parsley (chopped) ½ teaspoon ground black pepper 5 cups dry red wine 1/4 cup Cognac 1/4 canola or extra-light olive oil 1 teaspoon salt 2 teaspoons sugar 8 ounces pearl onions 8 ounces mushrooms (cleaned and thinly sliced) 6 ounces good-quality sliced bacon (chopped) 2 tablespoons butter (softened) Directions Place the chicken in a large, deep, non-reactive casserole dish. Layer the carrots, onion, celery, tomato, garlic, thyme, bay leaf, parsley, and pepper evenly over the chicken pieces. In a small bowl, mix together the red wine, Cognac, and oil. Drizzle the wine mixture over the vegetables and chicken, and then marinate the mixture overnight, for 8 to 12 hours. Preheat the oven to 425 F. Melt 3 tablespoons of butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Remove each piece of the chicken from the marinade, reserving the liquid, and brown them on each side. Set aside the chicken, scoop the vegetables out of the marinade, and cook them in the skillet for 5 minutes, until they begin to get tender. Arrange the chicken in a deep, glass casserole dish, layer the vegetables over the chicken, and pour the reserved liquid over the casserole. Sprinkle the salt and sugar over the mixture, cover, and bake it in the preheated oven for 20 minutes. While the chicken is baking, fry the bacon in the skillet until it is crispy and set it aside to drain. Pour off all but approximately 2 tablespoons of the bacon grease and sauté the mushrooms and onions over low-medium heat for 6-8 minutes, until they turn tender. When the chicken has cooked for 20 minutes, remove it from the oven and add the bacon, mushrooms, and onions. Cover and return the casserole to the oven for 20 minutes. Mix together the 2 tablespoons softened butter and the all-purpose flour until they form a smooth paste. Add the butter-flour mixture, or beurre manie, to the chicken and vegetables for the last 5 minutes of cooking. Remove the casserole from the oven and stir the beurre manie ​throughout the dish. Allow it to sit and thicken for a few minutes before serving.  All rights reserved. Our mailing address is: 210 S. Milwaukee Ave. Wheeling, IL 60090 USA Want to change how you receive these emails? You can update your preferences or unsubscribe from this list.