Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Through the Keyhole - February 2017

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guess the location
     FEBRUARY 2017 turnkey-color-logo-white 7
Through the Keyhole

Informative & Interesting... not your everyday company newsletter.
Happy Valentine's Day (and Happy Non-Leap Year)!
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I don't think that a couple nuzzling in shallow water with their horses in tow can paint a more cliched picture of love...  However, it was a nice photo and I would bet the editors of Horse and Hound would be pleased to see it. Moreover, Valentine's Day is in 13 days and this may serve as a reminder for those of you who need reminding to pre-order your chocolates, flowers or whatever tickles your fancy.

 Do you remember those grade school homemade cards?  I do.
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From its bloody origins to its sweet, chocolatey modern day traditions, these are some interesting facts you didn’t know about Valentine’s Day (or maybe you did and I didn't):

In Victorian times it was considered bad luck to sign a Valentine’s Day card.

Based on retail statistics, about 3 per cent of pet owners will give Valentine’s Day gifts to their pets.

About 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are exchanged each year. This makes it the second largest seasonal card sending time of the year.

Or you could pop over to Finland where Valentine’s Day is called Ystävänpäivä, which translates into “Friend’s day”. It’s more about remembering your buddies than your loved ones.

Many believe the X symbol became synonymous with the kiss in medieval times. People who couldn’t write their names signed in front of a witness with an X. The X was then kissed to show their sincerity.

In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who would be their Valentine. They would wear this name pinned onto their sleeves for one week for everyone to see. This was the origin of the expression “to wear your heart on your sleeve.”

Physicians of the 1800s commonly advised their patients to eat chocolate to calm their pining for lost love.

More than 35 million heart-shaped boxes of chocolate will be sold for Valentine’s Day (all of them at Walgreens).

73 percent of people who buy flowers for Valentine’s Day are men, while only 27 percent are women.

Teachers will receive the most Valentine’s Day cards, followed by children, mothers, wives, sweethearts and pets.

Every Valentine’s Day, the Italian city of Verona, where Shakespeare’s lovers Romeo and Juliet lived, receives about 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet.

Leap Year - Next visit 2020
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And here is a word about leap year and adding the extra day to February every 4 years... The next time will be 2020.  There is a silly romantic comedy movie about it.  You can watch the marathon every leap day on Lifetime on the 29th (that's a lie - I used the picture because I couldn't find anything else except a bunch of frog pics).
Leap years are needed to keep our modern day Gregorian calendar in alignment with the Earth's revolutions around the sun.

It takes the Earth approximately 365.242189 days – or 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutes, and 45 seconds – to circle once around the Sun. This is called a tropical year, and is measured from the March (vernal) equinox.

However, the Gregorian calendar has only 365 days in a year, so if we didn't add a leap day on February 29 nearly every four years, we would lose almost six hours off our calendar every year. After only 100 years, our calendar would be off by around 24 days!

valentines day facts

This pic above is just satisfying the other half of the Horse and Hound reference.  That is a good looking pup.

And now for a new picture above- Can you guess where it is by looking through the keyhole?  "When a couple travels to this famous bridge in the city of love, they lock a padlock with their initials onto the public fence and throw away the key.  In 2015, all locks were removed." Can you guess the location?

Correct answers will be given recognition but half the fun is trying to figure it out.  The correct answer will be revealed in the subsequent issue.  Good luck and have fun.

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As always, send any items you think are newsworthy, interesting or just plain odd to

Miami, Florida - Keyhole Answer


"Home to many Cuban defectors, this city boasts the most Art Deco buildings in the world.  It's mostly man made beaches are frequently restocked with sand and you can see a cruise ship depart about every 20 minutes on the weekends."Last month, Peter Piccadilli won the location by guessing correctly.  It's an obscure picture but that is Miami.  Thanks Pete. 

Miami is a major center, and a leader in finance, commerce, culture, media, entertainment, the arts, and international trade. In 2012, Miami was classified as an Alpha−World City in the World Cities Study Group's inventory. In 2010, Miami ranked seventh in the United States in terms of finance, commerce, culture, entertainment, fashion, education, and other sectors. It ranked 33rd among global cities.

Although my opinion doesn't really matter, I cannot stand the Miami airport and it seems to be a major hub to get anywhere non-mainstream in the Caribbean and South America.  It also is cruise ship heaven.  It is also home to South Beach, Miami Beach, and a large, cool neighborhood of Art Deco hotels and nightclubs.  It's a late, late city and the restaurants really don't come alive until 10 pm.  That is late.


A very nice picture of the waterways in Miami
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The Bridge
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Art Deco Historic District
Miami Beach from afar (up close is very interesting to say the least)
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I don't know what kind of a cruise this is but the boat looks too small to have such a diverse group.
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And the cast from some reality TV show about Miami Beach.

Welcome to Miami (Will Smith video)

Things to see in Miami (video)

Miami from a drone (video)

Network Security Assessment
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The fastest growing segment of IT is the security segment - there is no doubt.  Most of our customers have already removed many of the public facing vulnerabilities from their networks (exchange servers, web servers, etc.).  There is no need to be fearful or to doubt your networks are secure but this kind of thing is in the world every day - from hijacking your pc, to ransomware and server hacks, there are threats. 

We also send out regular quarterly 'report cards' so that our customers are informed of places where things could be improved.  We have some new tools available to us to provide a "deep dive" into your network from outside and from within.  From external vulnerabilities to password complexity to open ports in your firewall - these network assessments may provide additional peace of mind. 

If you are interested in having a network security assessment performed, please contact me (David) at 847 808 3990 to find out the details...

A Bad Lip Reading (hilarious video)

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video here

Quote of the week

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When asked what he thinks about General Mattis being considered for Secretary of Defense, Rob O’Neill (the man who killed Bin Laden), said, 
“General Mattis has a bear rug in his home but it is not dead, it is just afraid to move”.

I no longer feel foolish
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The Cicret Bracelet

Moving to the White House?
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1. Incoming presidents are responsible for getting their belongings to the White House2. The residence staff has approximately five hours to make the move3. The new president can make major changes to the residence4. The first family pays for its own groceries5. There’s plenty to keep the first family occupied6. Privacy is at a premium7. The perks don’t stop when the president leaves

full article here

Signs of the Times

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."


In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels."


On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels


At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for,  you've come to the right place."


On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed."


On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."


At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

"Invite us to your next blowout."


At a Towing company:

"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."


On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts."


In a Non-smoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."


On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push."


At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."


Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."


In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"


At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be."


In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."


In the front yard of a Funeral Home: (MY FAVORITE!!!!!)

"Drive carefully. We'll wait."


At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank heaven for little grills."


And don't forget the sign at a


"Best place in town to take a leak."


Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

Too funny


Joke of the DayToday a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Well Written Police Report

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"All my life I thought air was free... Then I bought a bag of chips."

- Anonymous

TURNkey Hall of Fame

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“Yes, I have been using this computer for a long time...”

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1 Roll of Jimmy Dean Breakfast Sausage (Turkey, Pork, Mild or Spicy - your choice)
2 Package Cream Cheese (the brick), cubed
1 Can Rotel Tomatoes (mild)
1 Can Rotel Tomatoes (spicy)

Brown sausage til crumbly, drain.  Add cubed cream cheese and Rotel tomatoes and simmer until bubbly.  Serve with Tostitos Scoops and get down with your white trash selves

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