Thursday, October 1, 2015

Through the Keyhole - October 2015

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Through the Keyhole

Informative & Interesting... not your everyday company newsletter.
OMG it's October!
Where did the time go?  It's already the 4th quarter and TURNkey's network report cards go out to our customers soon.  We like to take the opportunity every quarter to inform people where they are doing well and where things might need a little help.  Networks are constantly evolving and technology marches on.  When you get yours later this month do me a favor and look at it.  You may have gotten good marks...

Ok enough of that. 

Now the seasons start to change and the leaves vacate the trees.  Kind of a bummer but there are some things to look forward to:

1) It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown
2) Pumpkin Seeds
3) Halloween Parties that you aren't invited to
4) TURNkey's 5th Annual Chili Cookoff ( you are invited - seriously)
                           12 Noon - 5 pm
                           Saturday Oct. 10
                           213 S. Milwaukee Ave.
                           Wheeling, IL (across the street from TURNkey)
The fifth annual event features at least 10 chilis made by individuals hoping to win bragging rights, their name on a trophy, and $100 cold, hard cash (second place gets $50).  If you are interested in coming, please do.  The more the merrier and there will be plenty of chili, beer, soft drinks and desserts for all.  This is one of our best events of the year so don't miss it.

Next year TURNkey IT turns 20 years old.  Holy Cow! To give some perspective, here are some things that happened 20 years ago:

OJ Simpson found not guilty in murder of Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman

Oklahoma City Federal Building Bomb

The Space Shuttle Atlantis docks with the Russian Mir Space Station

The heat wave of 1995 hits Chicago and 750 die

Windows 95 is released

Ebay was started

DVD, optical disc storage media format, is announced

Popular Films were: Toy Story, Apollo 13, Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls, Braveheart

Bill Clinton was President

The Dow Jones Industrial average hit 5,000 for the first time

That was a long time ago and we have seen so much change over the years.  I'm very proud to say that TURNkey IT is still relevant and necessary (and has really evolved over time).  I thank each one of you for your relationship with this business.  It is amazing to think I was 26 years old seemingly just how fast it goes.
And now for a new keyhole picture above- Can you guess where it is?

"You can still see bubbles of oil escaping from the wreck below. It is just a short boat ride from shore but so moving that you may be moved to tears. It is a must see and part of our history as a nation."

Last month, Mike Bird guessed correctly with the Blarney Stone.  Great recognition of an obscure Irish Landmark.  He also pointed out that you can have ties in football although they are rare these days (and not in the playoffs). Thanks for the info as I am not such a good NFL fan... Now go have a pint.

Correct answers will be given recognition but half the fun is trying to figure it out.  The correct answer will be revealed in the subsequent issue.  Good luck and have fun.

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As always, send any items you think are newsworthy, interesting or just plain odd to

Blarney Stone near Cork, Ireland - Keyhole Answer

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"If you have been here to do what this woman is doing in the picture then you are in a unique club recognized for being lucky.  Name the country and the exact place for extra credit."

Geri Slattery recently corrected me about my clue above.  I stand corrected and submit the following:  Kissing the Blarney Stone endows the kisser with the gift of the gab (skill at flattery) NOT LUCK. The stone was set into a tower of a castle in 1446 and is a popular tourist site in Ireland, attracting visitors from all over the world to kiss the stone and tour the castle gardens.

The word "blarney" has come to mean "clever, flattering or coaxing talk". Blarney is a flattery sweetened by humor and flavored by wit.  Those who mix with Irish people may have many examples of it in their everyday experience.  Think Tim Walsh who we all know is Irish...

The ritual of kissing the Blarney Stone, according to the castle's proprietors, has been performed by "millions of people", including "world statesmen, literary giants [and] legends of the silver screen". The kiss, however, is not casually achieved. To touch the stone with one's lips, the participant must ascend to the castle's peak, then lean over backwards on the parapet's edge. This is traditionally achieved with the help of an assistant. Although the parapet is now fitted with wrought-iron guide rails and protective crossbars, the ritual can still trigger attacks of acrophobia, an extreme or irrational fear of heights.

Before the safeguards were installed, the kiss was performed with real risk to life and limb, as participants were grasped by the ankles and dangled bodily from the height.  In the Sherlock Holmes radio dramatization "The Adventure of the Blarney Stone" (first broadcast on 18 March 1946), a man attempting to kiss the Blarney Stone falls to his death. Holmes' investigation reveals this as a murder, the man's boots having been surreptitiously greased before the attempt.

In 1985, I visited this site with my fellow band mates from Wheeling High School.  We had the luxury of going for 10 days and playing 3 parades and 23 concerts. Frankly, what I remember about Ireland is being tired. However, I did visit all the major landmarks and even drank a pint with our tour guide. 

This beautiful country is very green and you have not seen green until you have been there. The lush green color helps to explain why Irish people are so annoying with their shamrocks and green sweaters...






Office 2016 is here and you may want a sub...


Office 2016 isn’t a major departure from previous versions, and the biggest changes involve new ways to collaborate in real-time. The productivity suite will also offer new color themes—taking a page from Microsoft’s free Office mobile apps—and a “Tell Me” feature that helps dig up hard-to-find menu items.

An Office 365 subscription starts at $16.50 per month for business use, and includes free updates to Office 2016 and beyond.

You may want to get a subscription.


Before you read this, please understand that you may never want to fly again after learning these things.  However, the truth is that people have been surviving germs for centuries and with a little hand hygiene, you can avoid the HAZ MAT suit.  So here goes...

Don't touch:
1) Tray Tables
2) Bathrooms
3) Overhead air vents
4) Seatbelts
5) Seat back pockets
6) Window shades
7) The Floor
8) Your Luggage (on the floor)
9) Blankets and pillow
10) In Flight Entertainment Systems

That is pretty much the whole plane and you'd have a hard time NOT touching all of those things.  Bring sanitizer, wash hands regularly and travel safely.

I think sometimes it may be better not to're welcome.

Surfing in the middle of a Chinese City


Once every year, when the moon and planets align, this Chinese city gets a great big wave that pushes right through the heart of it.  The wave is so big that it nearly capsizes the boats that are otherwise tranquil the other days in the year.  Really interesting.
Watch here.

In N Out - why you'll never see one in Chicago

Have you ever had an In N Out Burger?  Chances are if you had, you'd agree that there is something really special about the food.  In 1990, I had my first In N Out and it changed my life. It was like the heavens opened up and the angels sang and my arteries clogged just a little bit... Seriously, this burger is something to get on a plane for.  In N Out began as a family business in Southern California and slowly grew throughout the southwest.  There are NO FRANCHISES and here is why you won't see one around here anytime soon:

In-N-Out will "never" go public or franchise its restaurants, the burger chain's president, Lynsi Snyder, told CBS in a rare interview.

"The only reason we would do that is for the money, and I wouldn’t do it," Snyder said in the interview.

"My heart is totally connected to this company because of my family, and the fact that they are not here — I have a strong tie to keep this the way they would want it."

That means In-N-Out probably won't be expanding to the East Coast any time soon.  The 304-store chain has slowly expanded eastward over its 65-year lifetime from California to Nevada, Arizona, Utah, and more recently Texas and Oregon. The company has also been holding "pop-up shops" around the world, where burgers tend to sell out within minutes.

All signs would point to a plan for expansion, but without franchising or going public, it's unlikely we'll see an In-N-Out on the East Coast any time soon.

Here's why:

1. Quality control: There are no freezers or microwaves in In-N-Out restaurants because the company has a strict policy of serving its food fresh. Therefore, all locations must be within 300 miles of the company's distribution facilities.
"At In-N-Out Burger, we make all of our hamburger patties ourselves and deliver them fresh to all of our restaurants with our own delivery vehicles," In-N-Out vice president of planning and development Carl Van Fleet told Business Insider in a previous interview. "Nothing is ever frozen. Our new restaurant locations are limited by the distance we can travel from our patty-making facilities and distribution centers."
2. Exclusivity: Everything has more appeal when it's not available to everyone, and the exclusivity of In-N-Out is what has helped the restaurant gain such a rabid following of fans.
In response to pleading from a local politician for an In-N-Out to open in Denver, Van Fleet made it clear the company was not planning to expand farther east.
"You continue to give us the biggest compliment possible with your efforts to interest us in Colorado," he wrote in a letter obtained by The Denver Post. "That said, at this time, we're still not looking to add a sixth state and we're just focusing our growth efforts in the five states where we currently operate."
Since then, In-N-Out has expanded to Oregon — which is the chain's sixth state of operation.
3. Competition: The East Coast has numerous burger joints that would offer tough competition for In-N-Out, including Shake Shack and Five Guys.
4. No franchising: A large-scale expansion without franchising would require a massive amount of up-front capital from the company.
"In-N-Out remains privately owned and the Snyder family has no plans to take the company public or franchise any units," the company reaffirms on its website.

Free WiFi ?  LOOK OUT!


That "free Wi-Fi" you're using? ...may not be so free after all. An alarming video from the "Today" show investigates how hackers often set up "free Wi-Fi" networks in popular tourist spots, hoping to catch travelers who log in and are desperate for a connection. Once tourists do, however, hackers can access passwords, bank information, email accounts, credit card numbers and more.

Hackers will typically set up fake "free Wi-Fi" networks within a 30-minute radius of top tourist destinations, says Varun Kohli, VP of marketing at mobile defense group  Skycure. His team recently released a list of the most dangerous spots, including Times Square in New York City, Disneyland in California and even St. Peter's Basilica in Vatican City.

So think twice before logging on, and just savor the moment instead. 

Best Post-Workout Drink - WHO KNEW?

Drinking a combination of carbohydrates and protein after a hard workout can help restore your energy and aid in building lean, metabolism-boosting muscle, but it turns out that your don't need a fancy recovery beverage to reap these benefits.

After participating in a vigorous cycling session, cyclists who drank chocolate milk were able to ride 51 percent longer in subsequent workout than those who drank a standard recovery beverage, a 2009 article in Applied Physiology, Nutrition, and Metabolism found. Plus, Chocolate milk is cheaper and tastier than anything you will find in a sports nutrition store.

Prost! First Day of Oktoberfest


The world's biggest beer festival, Munich's Oktoberfest, started Sept. 19th and will last until Oct. 4.  This year marks its 182nd anniversary.


Munich's Mayor pounds a tap into the first Oktoberfest beer barrel.  "O'zapft is!" he exclaims.  "It's tapped."


Opening day parade


Laila Noeth, the "Muenchner Kindl" or mascot for this year's fest, sings on stage during the opening day of the 2015 Oktoberfest.


Opening day for Germans!


Hofbrau tent pictured here.

Intel Compute Stick

18 2
Transform your HDMI display into a fully functional computer.  Don't try this at work but try it at home...

Rent the Runway

Have a fancy event to go to and don't have anything to wear?  This company for women features designer clothing that you rent.  Simply browse the online gallery, select your size (you get two included), select the date and voila! Instant wardrobe.  After your event, simply place the item in the pre-paid shipping bag and send it back.  They do the laundering too.

You can rent for just a few days or subscribe to fashion by selecting 3 items to keep and rotate as needed.

Very Chicago...

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The only free parking space in the CITY.
Really smart protesters. 
THIS is coming soon. Ugh.

Tipping People you'd Never think to tip.

There are many people that help you along the way that really deserve tips.  Here are some interesting examples of people you should tip.  #1 above is plumbers.  Think of the crap they have to deal with.... Now tip them $10 for something small and 10% for something big.  You won't be sorry.
Heavy package being delivered?  How about a $5 tip?
Stranded roadside?  How about $10?
DirecTV or cable tv just installed?  Everything works?  Tip him.

Remember the MACARENA?

Way back in 1994, Los del Rio released this hit song (got it in your head yet?) and it went viral.  Thousands of people have celebrated this song and danced its silly line dance.  I bet you don't know what the lyrics mean?  It isn't exactly a feel good song....
Give your body joy, Macarena
Because your body is meant to be given joy and good things
Give your body joy, Macarena.
Hey Macarena!
Macarena has a boyfriend who is named
Who is named with the last name Vitorino
And while he was being sworn in as a conscript
She’s giving it to two friends
Macarena dreams of the Corte Ingl├ęs*
(*Spain’s biggest department store)
and she buys herself the most modern clothes
She would like to live in New York
And seduce a new boyfriend... aaay!

Learn More (video)

It's time for October Baseball

As I write this, it is not quite October 1 and the Cubs are still 6 games out of first and 2 behind the Pirates.  However, we are 9 games in front of San Francisco giving me hope that they will make it.  What a season it has been for Cub Fans! 

The following is a list of what food item each ballpark is famous for:






Never by its cover...



Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
- Oscar Wilde

PB&J - You are doing it wrong


After years of experimentation, I have finally come upon the best tasting (and healthiest) way to satisfy a PB&J craving AND keep my kids healthy. Don't leave out the secret ingredient or it won't be the same. I guessimated the measurements so feel free to adjust to your taste.


  • 2 slices whole wheat bread (preferably soft)
  • 1 teaspoon butter, the secret ingredient
  • 1 tablespoon peanut butter (I use smooth)
  • 2 teaspoons strawberry jelly


  1. Spread a half teaspoon of butter on each slice of bread.
  2. Spread one slice with peanut butter.
  3. Swirl jam into peanut butter.
  4. Cover with other slice of bread.

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Wheeling, Illinois 60090
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