Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Through the Keyhole = April 2021


APRIL 2021
Through the Keyhole
Take a break from your day...

Not your typical company OR newsletter
"This Palace has 1,441 rooms and was built / remodeled in the mid 1700s.  Following the downfall of the Monarchy 1918, the palace was turned into a museum and has been a major tourist attraction ever since.  This site was also used as a meeting place between JFK and Krushchev in 1916." Can you guess the location?

Forget April Showers. Let's go!

I searched the internet today to try and find some good news.  Very little is written about that is uplifting, complimentary or positive.  Mostly we see things about division, hate, cancel culture, etc.  That's why I turned the news off a long time ago and watch very little of that garbage.  When I first took computer programming in college (relax it was COBOL) there was this rule they called GIGO.  That acronym stands for Garbage In Garbage Out.  As such, I have chosen to put as little garbage in my head as possible and choose to be positive even in the face of great negativity.

There is very little in life that is completely under our control so worrying just makes you miserable.  I certainly hope you find this nonsensical newsletter a break from the negative culture that is so pervasive.

This negativity is not limited to your TV alone but rather all across the internet.  Not sure if you noticed, but there has been an awful lot of censorship going on with the Tech Giants.  They are censoring things that don't align with their views or values.  People are being silenced for posting their opinions on Facebook, Twitter and others.  

If you believe in unicorns, UFO's, aliens, reptilians or that the earth is flat, you should be able to say so.  If I don't agree, I should be able to say so as well.

For me, I was taught book burning and silencing opposing views was not right.  In fact, I was taught to believe that having robust and sometimes heated discussions was healthy.  Seemingly, things are not that way today but that doesn't change the fact that we should be tolerant of other people's views as long as it's a peaceful expression.

In fact, Berkeley was an incubator for these types of exchanges back in the day.  My how things have changed...

To that end, I have been using the search engine since I discovered how google tracks you and manipulates its search results.  If you don't believe me do a google search as follows:

Make sure you click on the IMAGES tab to see results
Link 1 click here
Link 2 click here
Link 3 click here

It is interesting to see how the final search above for 'happy white woman pictures' doesn't yield a result similar to the first two searches.  If something this simple displays such questionable results you really have to wonder what else is being manipulated.  No thank you.  I will think for myself...and will always encourage others to do so as well.

It's a real wake up call.

FYI - When you do a for the 3rd link search you see this (which seems more realistic):

FULL DISCLOSURE - I get NOTHING for promoting

Exciting Things Continue to Happen at TURNkey...

As the weeks and months fly by, there are really exciting things happening at TURNkey.  Every month we are transforming networks to leverage the Microsoft 365 platform.  We are integrating our networks using OneDrive for individual and group use.  We are deploying Teams for telephony, video conferencing, instant messaging and document collaboration.  It really is a very smart platform for the small business market and our customers are really embracing it.  

Most networks are still reliant on a local server to run their business applications.  However, there are many who can run completely serverless.  

Moreover, we are doing some really great analysis / consulting on a lot of fronts.  What's exciting is that bringing the business acumen into many discussions really makes sense.  Right now we are working on a few interesting business problems...

1) How do I get my workforce to come back into the office?  Should we consider a hybrid approach where some workers are remote and others not?

2) Do we really need all of this office space anymore?

3) Does it make sense to look at relocating my business to a lower taxed / regulated state?

4) Of the products we manufacture, which ones are the most profitable?  Where should I focus my attention?

5) What is the ROI on all of the digital marketing my company has been doing?

6) Does it make sense for my company to add additional equipment to my shop floor?  It's a big investment and I want to know how long it will take to pay off the note.

These are just a few of the things we are helping our customers with and it feels great to give people the knowledge and confidence to make sound decisions.

Remember - TURNkey is much more than just an IT company...
Spring has Sprung.
Can you spot the ones that were photoshopped in who couldn't make the reunion?
Guess the Location Game

Last month the winner of the guess the location game was John Bredehoeft  who guessed the right answer.  I appreciate all of the participation.  THANKS FOR PLAYING!
ANSWER: Yangon, Myanmar
"This Capital City with more than 2000 peaked-dome temples is home to some pretty big thieves who have torn apart many temples in search of treasures.  It is also home to some big problems lately as a rogue state.  Seems interesting.. and slightly familiar." Can you guess the location?

How do Burmese punks keep their mohawks standing tall?

Why does cash in Myanmar need to be kept clean?

What does making a kissing sound in a Yangon restaurant get you?

Some things about Myanmar...

New Year celebrations last four days

The Burmese make a big deal of the New Year. Thingyan, known as the "water throwing festival," is celebrated in April. 

Everything shuts down over the four-day New Year -- banks, restaurants, shops. The biggest celebrations are in Yangon and Mandalay.

During the New Year water-throwing frenzy everyone throws and sprays water at each other. Staying dry isn't an option. Water symbolizes the washing away of the previous year's bad luck and sins.

On New Year's Day, the fourth day of the festival, fish and birds are released as acts of merit and feasts are held for monks.

In recent years of privation, hard-core Burmese punks used leather glue to spike up their hair at New Year. The superstrong glue meant their mohawks stayed standing through the Water Festival, but when the party was over they had to shave their hair. These days, Burmese punks use hairspray.

Myanmar has fantastic beaches

Myanmar has 1,250 miles (2,000 kilometers) of coastline and some of the finest stretches of beach in Asia. Many beaches along the Bay of Bengal and Andaman Sea remain undiscovered by tourists and unspoiled by development.

Many of them face west, so they produce great sunsets.
The best known is Ngapali Beach, a 45-minute flight from Yangon, where almost two miles of white sand are lined with palm trees overlooking the Andaman Sea. Here, you'll find a number of large resorts.

Less developed is Ngwe Saung, a beautifully unspoiled beach that's a five-hour drive from Yangon. Also called Silver Beach, its eight-mile (13 kilometers) stretch makes it one of the longest beaches in Asia.

You'll need plenty of cash -- and make sure it's clean

There are few ATMs in Myanmar, so visitors need to bring plenty of U.S. dollars. The higher the denomination, the better the exchange rate.

Your greenbacks should be squeaky clean -- that means no creases, stains, marks or tears. A note that's folded or even a little worn is worthless in Myanmar.

At present, credit cards are accepted only in five-star hotels and up-market shops and restaurants, usually with a 2-3% fee added to the bill. But this is changing. By the end of the year, credit cards should be more widely accepted.

The local currency is the kyat (pronounced "chat") and U.S.$1 will get you about 882 kyat. The new 10,000-kyat note (less than U.S.$12) is the highest denomination -- be prepared for a bulging wallet.

There's little worry about carrying a lot of cash. Crime against foreigners is rare and the Burmese -- the vast majority of whom are Buddhist -- are generally honest.

A kissing sound gets you a beer

When the Burmese want to get a waiter's attention they make a kissing sound, usually two or three short kisses. It's the sort of sound you might make if calling a cat.

Walk down 19 Street in Yangon's Chinatown and you'll hear that kissing sound a lot. This narrow, pedestrian-only street is where the Burmese come to drink.

Restaurants line either side of the street and chairs and tables are set out in front.

The local brew is Myanmar Beer and it's cheap -- about 60 cents for a glass of draught.

This is prime people-watching territory and if you keep an eye out you'll spot Yangon's hip-hop royalty on the prowl.
Just don't expect to see any females. Most Burmese women -- married and single -- stay home in the evening. That's not to say Western women aren't welcome. It's understood that foreigners have different customs.

Hotels are expensive

Room rates shot up 350% last year, which means that a room that cost U.S.$25 a night in 2011 now goes for almost U.S.$100.

It's a simple matter of supply and demand. Since the country opened up, business travelers and tourists have been packing flights to Myanmar. There are a lot more visitors -- more than a million last year -- but roughly the same number of hotels.

More hotels are on the way, but they take time to build and the hotel shortage is expected to continue five to 10 years. Book accommodation well ahead.

A lot of hotels are renovating and since they don't want to miss out on the visitor boom, they're staying open while upgrading. When making a reservation it's worth checking to see if any work is in progress and, if so, requesting a room away from the noise.


The men wear skirts

The traditional Burmese dress is the longyi, a wraparound skirt worn by men and women. Men tie theirs in the front and women fold the cloth over and secure it at the side.
NLD Leader Aung San Suu Kyi is known for her beautiful longyis and tailored tops. Her high-profile appearances have helped boost the popularity of the traditional dress among young women in Myanmar.

As for what's worn underneath, that's a matter of personal preference. In the cities, Burmese men usually wear underwear beneath their longyis when they go out, but at home wear it as the Scots wear their kilts.

In the countryside, underwear is much less common -- for men and women. As one man jokingly put it: "Longyi are great. Free air-conditioning." That's a plus, especially when the summer temperature tips 104 F (40 C).

It's completely acceptable for a foreigner to wear a longyi and can be a conversation starter.

The food is exceptional

It's considered rude to eat with the left hand as this is the hand used for personal hygiene. To spell that out -- the left hand does the job of toilet paper.

So eating -- as well as giving money -- is always done with the right hand.

A typical Burmese meal includes steamed rice, fish, meat, vegetables and soup and all the dishes arrive at the same time.

The Burmese use their fingertips to mold the rice into a small ball and then mix it with various dishes.

As is the norm, Buddhists usually avoid eating beef and the Muslims don't eat pork.

Meals are served with plenty of condiments -- from sweet to savory -- and everyone has their preferred way of customizing a dish.


Myanmar has changed ~ 4 min.
Street food ~12 min.
Video ~4 min.
Child vs. Adult Actors
Changing Lightening Rods
Take a look at how they change the lightening rods on Christ the Redeemer in Rio (if you are afraid of heights this will affect you) ~  3 minutes 
Well this is interesting...
Huh?~12 minutes VIDEO
Some Wisdom...

I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.

A cold seat in a public restroom is unpleasant. A warm seat in a public restroom is worse.

Apparently RSVP'ing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time," isn't the correct response.

Don't irritate old people. The older we get, the less "Life in prison" is as a deterrent.

Have you ever listened to someone for a minute and thought, "Their cornbread isn't done in the middle."

Aliens probably fly by earth and lock their doors.

"You will hit every cone on the highway before I let you merge in front of me because you saw that sign 2 miles ago like I did."

I asked my wife if I was the only one she had ever been with. She said yes, all the others were nines and tens. Give it a minute...

I really don't mind getting older, but my body is taking it badly.

It turns out that being an adult now is mostly just googling how to do stuff.

I miss the 90's when bread was still good for you and no one knew what kale was.

Do you ever get up in the morning, look in the mirror and think "That can't be accurate."

I want to be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

As I watch this new generation try to rewrite our history, one thing I'm sure of.... it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made me an appointment for Tuesday.

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does.

My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make food right in front of you. I took her to Subway. That's when the fight started.

Me: Sobbing my heart out, "I can't see you anymore..... I'm not going to let you hurt me again." Gym Trainer: "It was one sit-up. You did just one sit-up."

I went line dancing last night. OK, it was a roadside sobriety test ... same thing.

Easter Eggs.
My favorite Easter Meme...

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius..
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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss  USA  contest.
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign
"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett,  University  of  Kentucky  basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings,  Washington  has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"--Mayor Marion Barry,  Washington,  DC.
"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in  Texas.
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."
--Al Gore, Vice President
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"I love  California. I practically grew up in  Phoenix  ."
-- Dan Quayle
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"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
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"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
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"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 2020 because we  received notice that you passed away May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
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"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."--Keppel Enderbery
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"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

How Water Drains at Equator
Water North, South and ON the Equator...Interesting ~ 3 minutes
Attention Test
See how well you pay attention to this advertisement.
~1 minute.

Reunions are the BEST...

See how long you can last without tearing up..... ~16 min.
Greatest Commercial Ever...
10 years old but still very clever ~ 1 minute

Airports are out of control...

Someone checked a stick as luggage.
Nothing like March Madness...
Hey Mum?

Crock-Pot Brown Sugar & Balsamic–Glazed Pork Tenderloin

  • 1 teaspoon ground sage
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon pepper
  • 1 garlic clove, crushed
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 2 pounds pork tenderloin
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar
  • 1 tablespoon cornstarch
  • 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 2 tablespoons soy sauce

  1. Mix together the seasonings: sage, salt, pepper and garlic, and rub over the tenderloin.
  2. Place 1/2 cup water in slow cooker, followed by the tenderloin, and cook on low for 6 to 8 hours.
  3. 1 hour before the roast is finished, mix together the ingredients for the glaze in a small saucepan: brown sugar, cornstarch, balsamic vinegar, water, and soy sauce.
  4. Heat over medium and stir until mixture thickens, about 4 minutes.
  5. Brush roast with glaze 2 or 3 times during the last hour of cooking. (For a more caramelized crust, remove from crock pot and place on aluminum lined sheet pan, glaze, and set under broiler for 1 to 2 minutes, until bubbly and caramelized. Repeat 2 to 3 more times until desired crust is achieved.)
  6. Serve with remaining glaze on the side.
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