Monday, September 25, 2017

Through the Keyhole - October 2017

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guess the location
     OCTOBER 2017 turnkey-color-logo-white 7
Through the Keyhole

Informative & Interesting... not your everyday company newsletter.
3 years in a row! Gotta Love It!
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Welcome to fall baseball once again...
After being out of it for so many years, it is an odd sensation as a fan to have a legitimate shot at winning it all for the third time in a row.  Baseball is a funny game.  Just look at the way the Dodgers won 44 games in a row only to come back to earth and barely play .500 ball.  We will see what happens but it's great to see all the W flags flying and the anticipation of a post season run.  The first team to 11 wins takes the cake!

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Pictured above is Marisa Miller (of SI swimsuit issue fame) sporting her Cubs gear when throwing out the first pitch some years ago.  During the rebuilding years, the Cubs had to use pretty girls and gimmicks to get butts in seats.  Those days are gone as there is so much to see when you field a decent team (thank you Theo, Jed and Ricketts family).  Time to break out the jersey again Marisa (that is if you are still a fan).  I bet she's a Dodgers girl.

And now for a new picture above- Can you guess where it is by looking "through the keyhole"? 
"This progressive city in an otherwise gun toting, conservative state is really 'batty'.  A capital city, almost the size of NYC, was home to Matthew McConaughey's naked bongos in the park incident."  Can you guess the location?

Correct answers will be given recognition but half the fun is trying to figure it out.  The correct answer will be revealed in the subsequent issue.  Good luck and have fun.

If you like this newsletter, forward it to someone else or sign them up HERE.

As always, send any items you think are newsworthy, interesting or just plain odd to

Maho Beach, St. Maarten - Keyhole Answer


"This tiny island country plays host to one of the greatest (and scariest) landing patterns in the world. 747s are so close you can reach out and almost touch them.  Beware of the jet blast on takeoff as it can blow you away... "

Last month,
Bob Conway won the location by guessing correctly.  He correctly answered not only St. Maarten (which would have been fine) but also Maho beach.  Thanks for playing and well done.

This island has two sides to it - a Dutch side and a French side.

It may interest you to know how the island was supposedly divided.  Story has it that when it was decided to divide St. Martin / San Maarten, the fairest way was determined to be to have two priests start walking from opposite ends of the island and where they met would be the boundary between the French and Dutch sides.  Each community selected their representative, a French catholic priest and a Dutch Protestant pastor. At the selected time they each started walking towards the other.  Legend has it that the French priest was excessively hosted by all the Dutch folks on the way while the ditch pastor consumed nothing but water.  This explains why the Dutch side of the island s significantly larger than the French side. Don't know if it true, but a good story nevertheless.

Unfortunately, St. Maartin has been destroyed by hurricane Irma.  And I mean destroyed.

Of course, I had no way of knowing this kind of devastation was headed their way when I penned this communication, nor would I think there would be so much devastation across so many lands.  The Caribbean will be a mess for some time and Houston, the State of Florida and the commonwealth of Puerto Rico are devastated...
See the pictures below.

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Some interesting articles (some of these are horrifying):
If you'd like to help...

How not to land a ROCKET BOOSTER
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Elon Musk did not pivot when his rockets failed.
“If you already know it's going to work, it's not an experiment, and only through experimentation can you get real invention. The most important inventions come from trial and error with lots of failure, and the failure is critical, and it's also embarrassing.” – Jeff Bezos, CEO of Amazon
See the blooper reel here (and watch the subtitles)

Lookout!  Dad's in charge...
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Cleveland's manager has something to say
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"Mad Dog" Mattis REAL Quote of the month

"There is nothing better than getting shot at and missed. It’s really great."

Read this thread. It will make you LOL
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LOL vs. haha (or hehe)
My opinion is that you use haha when you are responding to an unfunny or dim-witted comment.  LOL is more a signal that you are amused.  That's just my take - hehe.

A recent study says...

“LOL,” once the face of teen textspeak, is now favored primarily by the oldest demographic of Facebook laughers, with a median age of about 28. Emoji smiley faces are used most frequently by the youngest subset of Facebookers, typically those in their teens and early twenties. “Haha” and “hehe” occupy the space in between.

The study found clear preferences when it comes to gender as well. Women are more likely to use emojis and “LOL”; men more likely to type out a “haha” or “hehe.”

full article here

True Story (maybe).
This is a true story of an 89 year old woman who stood before a judge after shoplifting from a local supermarket.

When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, “What did you steal?”

She replied, "A can of peaches.”

Surprised at her calm demeanor, the judge asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.   Then the judge asked her how many peaches were in the can.  She replied 6.

The judge said, “Then I will give you 6 days in jail.”

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something on his wife’s behalf.  The judge said, “What is it?”

The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”

Oh, Howard.
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We were all a little home schooled...
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My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My father taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My father taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING
"You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"

My father taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My father taught me about JUSTICE ;.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”.
LOL Haha Hehe

Inside the World's Largest Cave
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Son Doong (in Vietnam) is large enough to fit a Boeing 747 in its biggest cavern.
See more stunning pics here

Funny.  I'd eat here just to meet the sign maker.
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Revenge Parking...
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TURNkey IT Chili Cookoff Time - you are invited!
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7th Annual TURNkey IT Chili Cookoff

Where:  Kolssak Residence - 213 S. Milwaukee Ave (across the street from TURNkey) Wheeling, IL
When:  12 noon - 5 p.m. October 28th

TURNkey employees are only eligible to win but any entrant's chili will be welcome. 

Come one, come all and bring your appetite(s).  Prizes to top three vote getters.

Hope to see you there!

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Tel: (847) 808-3990(847) 808-3990
Toll Free: 866 928 8208866 928 8208


210 S. Milwaukee Ave.
Wheeling, Illinois 60090