◾I
changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
◾England
has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
◾Haunted
French pancakes give me the crepes.
◾This
girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd
swear I've never met herbivore.
◾I
know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can
stop any time.
◾A
thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
◾When
the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
◾I
got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
◾A
dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
◾A
will is a dead giveaway.
◾With
her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
◾Police
were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was
resisting a rest.
◾A
bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
◾The
guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully
recovered.
◾He
had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
◾When
she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
◾Acupuncture
is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
◾I
didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
◾Did
you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control her pupils?
◾When
you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
◾When
chemists die, they barium.
◾I
stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on
me.
◾I'm
reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
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