Thursday, April 29, 2021

Through the Keyhole - May 2021


IT Services - Business Consulting - Digital Marketing

MAY 2021
Through the Keyhole
Take a break from your day...

Not your typical company OR newsletter
"This waterway saves plenty of time allowing cargo and military vessels to pass through. It did have some trouble recently with an Evergreen and it's anyone's guess what it could have been carrying. Hmmm." Can you guess the location?


It's MAY!

Well, the Oscars were a real hit for the 9.8 million Americans who watched them.  That is 58% lower than last year's performance and somehow the Hollywood Elite still don't get it.  In fact, last year's Golden Globes is where Ricky Gervais had the most EPIC opening ever (see below). If you have not seen it he roasts EVERYONE. Take a moment to re-watch it (it's the uncensored version).

If you have not seen the Babylon Bee website (, you may wish to spend a little time there.  It is a complete satire site that pokes fun of things just like Ricky Gervais does.  Some of their headlines will make you laugh out loud (at least they do for me). Here are a few of the headlines to whet your whistle.


Since I am not on Facebook and don't really have any outlets to make information public besides this, here are a couple of noteworthy things going on in my household...(sorry if this may bore you)

1) We got a puppy.  Meet Don Julio (or Donny). New Office Dog in Training...
2) My oldest son, David graduates from Loyola Academy and is headed to Purdue University. 
GO BOILERS! Your family is SO PROUD of you!
3) Chase turns 13 and enters 8th grade in the fall
4) And Melissa and I celebrate 28 years of marriage.  My how time flies...
Give it to 'em Ricky...
TURNkey Turned 25 years old...

On April 24th 1996, Turnkey Network Systems, Inc. was incorporated.  The origin of the business was pretty basic - I saw an opportunity to work with small business as the Windows 95 operating system was released.

It's much more interesting than that (and I will apologize if you've heard the story before)...

In 1994, I was working at my family's funeral home and hired a former IBM employee to put in a network.  We contracted for a small network with 2 pc's and a Novell Netware server to be placed in the facility.  The cost was $15,000. 

Believe it or not, there's a ton of data management in a funeral home and this was groundbreaking for the industry.  Instead of writing down all of the information by hand, we were to be inputting the data directly into a system whereby all of the government and legal forms could be easily processed.  

The long and short of it was that the guy we hired could not get the network up and running essentially giving us a $15k boat anchor (or 3).

My father was very upset that I insisted we put in a network and more upset that the thing didn't work.  "See, I told you it was a bad idea." He said.

Well rather than accepting defeat (and letting my father gloat), I called a friend named David Lecinski and said, "Hey you know something about computers.  Maybe you could help me get this thing up and running?"

So over the course of a few days, a lot of reading (remember that there was only AOL and very little information online at the time), we figured it out.  We had created a network using Windows for workgroups, ethernet wiring (token ring was on its way out), and a Novell Netware server.  At this time, there were no other server operating systems that had a GUI interface (graphical user interface).

As I went home that night, I told my wife that not only had we solved a problem, but I could see the potential for a business (and a ticket out of the funeral home).  Mind you, I was not ashamed of working there - quite the opposite.  However, the funeral home would never be my idea or my personal success.  That set the ball in motion.

On or around April 1st of 1996, a "FOR RENT" sign went up across the street from the funeral home.  It was perfect.  I could work at the funeral home and hopefully start a company.  It was more than just a sign...

We moved into a dilapidated office and did what we could to make it look good.  We sanded, painted and put in a really nice workspace much of which is still in place today.  We got our first customer in July in Antioch Community High School where we installed a UNIX mail server for the students and faculty.  It was a big win and I will never forget it.

Since then, the partners I started with moved on for one reason or another and I focused on working hard, hiring great people and growing the business one customer at a time.

Today we still have much growing to do but I have to say how proud I am that we are here today and have graduated from the initial 2 pc's on a BBQ table.  We have great people here and great customers who are loyal, honest and like minded.

I would like to thank everyone who may be reading this as you are part of the brand.  Thank you to the people who work here and thank you to the customers who make every day challenging, exciting and most of all...rewarding.  It is nice to have seen the opportunity to help small businesses succeed. 

Although the technology has changed immensely, our goal at TURNkey has not.  Be good to people. Work hard. Do business with people you like and like you in return. Have fun.  When you do something you love and have passion for it, people notice and want to be a part of it.  

Thank you and Happy Birthday TURNkey! 

And Happy Mother's Day Melissa - Thanks for being a very big part of our success!

Sophos Phish Threat

Reduce your largest attack surface — your end users

Phishing is big business. Attacks have shown record growth in recent years, and a solid security awareness program is an integral part of any defense-in-depth strategy. Sophos Phish Threat educates and tests your end users through automated attack simulations, quality security awareness training, and actionable reporting metrics.

Phish Threat provides you with the flexibility and customization that your organization needs to facilitate a positive security awareness culture.

Basically, you set up a campaign to catch your employees falling for phish attempts.  It is easy to use and kind of fun.  Then if they fall for it, they are forced to watch a short video that trains them what to look for...

This service is only $2/user per month with a small setup fee and most people only train their employees for a couple months.  It is SO WORTH IT!

Call us to set you up.

So you want to go BOATING?
Guess the Location Game

Last month the winner of the guess the location game was Anne Welch  who guessed the right answer.  I appreciate all of the participation.  THANKS FOR PLAYING!
ANSWER: Schoenbrunn Palace - Vienna, Austria
"This Palace has 1,441 rooms and was built / remodeled in the mid 1700s.  Following the downfall of the Monarchy 1918, the palace was turned into a museum and has been a major tourist attraction ever since.  This site was also used as a meeting place between JFK and Krushchev in 1961. (I had a typo last month that many pointed out saying it was in 1916 - oops. It was in 1961)" 

Schönbrunn Palace is a UNESCO WORLD HERITAGE SITE and Austria’s most visited tourist attraction. For centuries the palace served as the summer home of the Habsburgs, and to this day reflects the interests and tastes of the Habsburg monarchs. Schönbrunn is considered to be one of Europe’s most impressive Baroque palace complexes and Austria’s most significant cultural monument.

The Schönbrunn estate came into Habsburg possession in 1569 through Maximillian II. It passed to many successors, who did little more than use it as a hunting ground.

The creation of Schönbrunn Palace can be attributed to Emperor Leopold I. In 1693, he commissioned Baroque architect Johann Bernhard Fischer von Erlach, to build a grand hunting lodge for his son, and heir to the throne, Joseph I. Unfortunately, Joseph died suddenly in 1711 before the palace was completed, halting construction for many years.

The unfinished palace became the dower residence of Joseph’s widow, Wilhelmine Amalie, until Emperor Charles VI acquired Schönbrunn in 1728. Eventually, Charles gifted the palace to his daughter Maria Theresa, who had a fondness for the palace and its gardens.

Under Maria Theresa’s influence, Joseph I’s hunting lodge was extended into a palatial residence. Schönbrunn Palace soon became the focus of court and political life. Since then, the palace has hosted many of Europe’s leading statesmen.

Ownership of Schönbrunn Palace was passed to The Republic of Austria at the end of the monarchy in 1918.

If you ever find yourself in Vienna, this might be a good stop to make...

Vienna: Summer Night Concert at Schoenbrunn Palace ~ 44 min.
Tour of the Palace and Gardens ~13 min.
President John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline at gala dinner in Schönbrunn Palace, Vienna ~ 3 min.
Oh, the 80's...
Amazing Sculptures That Exist
Some really interesting works of art ~  3 minutes 
A fascinating new series coming this summer...
Something interesting to watch starting this summer - 2 minute trailer
An Eagle Named Freedom...
Video of the story below ~ 3 minutes

Jeff Guidry and His Eagle Named Freedom

Freedom and I have been together 11 years this summer.

She came in as a baby in 1998 with two broken wings.

Her left wing doesn't open all the way even after surgery,  it was broken in 4 places.  She's my baby.

When Freedom came in, she could not stand and both wings were broken.  She was emaciated and covered in lice.

We made the decision to give her a chance at life, so I took her to the vet's office.  From then on, I was always around her.

We had her in a huge dog carrier with the top off, and it was loaded up with shredded newspaper for her to lay in.  I used to sit and talk to her, urging her to live, to fight;  and she would lay there looking at me with those big brown eyes.  We also had to tube feed her for weeks.

This went on for 4-6 weeks, and by then she still couldn't stand.  It got to the point where the decision was made to euthanize her if she couldn't stand in a week.

You know you don't want to cross that line between torture and rehab, and it looked like death was winning.

She was going to be put down that Friday, and I was supposed to come in on that Thursday afternoon. I didn't want to go to the center that Thursday, because I couldn't bear the thought of her being euthanized; but I went anyway, and when I walked in everyone was grinning from ear to ear.

I went immediately back to her cage; and there she was, standing on her own, a big beautiful eagle. She was ready to live. I was just about in tears by then. That was a very good day. We knew she could never fly, so the director asked me to glove train her.

I got her used to the glove, and then to jesses, and we started doing education programs for schools in western Washington.

We wound up in the newspapers, radio (believe it or not) and some TV.  Miracle Pets even did a show about us.

In the spring of 2000, I was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.  I had stage 3, which is not good (one major organ plus everywhere), so I wound up doing 8 months of chemo.  Lost the hair - the whole bit. I missed a lot of work.

When I felt good enough, I would go to Sarvey and take Freedom out for walks. Freedom would also come to me in my dreams and help me fight the cancer. This happened time and time again.

Fast forward to November 2000. The day after Thanksgiving, I went in for my last checkup. I was told that if the cancer was not all gone after 8 rounds of chemo, then my last option was a stem cell transplant.

Anyway, they did the tests; and I had to come back  Monday for the results. I went in Monday,  and I was told that all the cancer was gone.

So the first thing I did was get up to Sarvey and take the big girl out for a walk. It was misty and cold. I went to her flight and jessed her up, and we went out front to the top of the hill.

I hadn't said a word to Freedom, but somehow she knew.  She looked at me and wrapped both her wings around me to where I could feel them pressing in on my back (I was engulfed in eagle wings), and she touched my nose with her beak and stared into my eyes, and we just stood there like that for I don't know how long.

That was a magic moment. We have been soul mates ever since she came in. This is a very special bird.

On a side note:  I have had people who were sick come up to us when we are out, and Freedom has some kind of hold on them.

I once had a guy who was terminal come up to us and I let him hold her. His knees just about buckled and he swore he could feel her power course through his body. I have so many stories like that.

I never forget the honor I have of being so close to such a magnificent spirit as Freedom!! Hope you enjoyed this!

Life Imitating ART.
My favorite Easter Meme...
Never Judge a Book by Its Cover

Doug Pender lived all his life in the Florida Keys; he is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons are with him…
He asks for two witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready, he begins to speak 

"My son, Bernie, I want you to take the Ocean Reef houses."

”My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments between mile markers 100 and Tavernier.” 

"My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the Marathon Government Center.” 

“Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the bayside of Backwater Sound.” 

Thee nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings; and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, 

“Mrs. Pender, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property.” The wife replies, 

“The asshole had a paper route.”

How Water Drains at Equator. Really?
This afternoon we saw two vortices twilling in opposite directions, proving that the Coriolis effect doesn't influence the direction that water 'vortices' down a plughole.     ~ 2 minutes
This makes a wood chipper look like child's play.
~4 minutes.
People are AMAZING and NUTS ~ 6 min.
Chicago Lost Restaurants...
Unfortunately there are sooooo many more.  CLICK HERE
This will make you laugh...
Insert Accordion ~ 2 minutes


When did MOM Jeans come back in style?
Happy Mother's Day!!!

Amish Breakfast Casserole
(for Mother's Day)

  • 1 pound sliced bacon, diced
  • 1 medium sweet onion, chopped
  • 6 large eggs, lightly beaten
  • 4 cups frozen shredded hash brown potatoes, thawed
  • 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
  • 1-1/2 cups 4% cottage cheese
  • 1-1/4 cups shredded Swiss cheese

  1. Preheat oven to 350°. In a large skillet, cook bacon and onion over medium heat (separately) until bacon is crisp; drain. In a large bowl, combine remaining ingredients; stir in bacon mixture. Transfer to a greased 13x9-in. baking dish.
  2. Bake, uncovered, until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean, 35-40 minutes. Let stand 10 minutes before cutting.
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