It's
March - Happy New Year, ancient Romans!
Welcome to the
third month of the year—or, if you were born before 150 B.C., the first!
According to the oldest Roman calendars, one year was ten months long,
beginning in March and ending in December. It may sound crazy, but you can
still see traces of this old system in our modern calendar: because
December was the tenth month, it was named for the number ten in Latin (decem), just like
September was named for seven (septem).
So, what about January and February? They were just two nameless months
called “winter,” proving that winter is literally so
awful it doesn’t even deserve a spot on the calendar.
March Madness is also this month and my office has its infamous office pool
(don't tell the cops) whereby we all guess our way to a busted bracket or
two...March Madness also marks the time where the number of vasectomies
surges by 50 percent as the first weekend boast just about 4 complete days
of basketball on the couch.
March is also a
great month to begin warring... March was actually named for the Latin Martius—aka Mars, the
Roman God of war and a mythical ancestor of the Roman people via his
wolf-suckling sons, Romulus and Remus. With the winter frosts melting and the
ground becoming fertile for harvest again in the Northern hemisphere, March
was historically the perfect month for both farmers to resume farming, and
warriors to resume warring.
Romulus and Remus statues are all over
Siena (in Tuscany), Italy
Recent history confirms that
with the exception of Afghanistan (October 2001), all major US-NATO led
military operations over a period of almost half a century –since the
invasion of Vietnam by US ground forces on March 8, 1965– have been
initiated in the month of March.
The Vietnam War
The US Congress adopted the
Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, which authorized President Lyndon Johnson to
dispatch ground forces to Vietnam on March
8, 1965.
NATO’s war on Yugoslavia was
launched on March 24,
1999.
The Iraq War
The War on Iraq was launched
on March 20, 2003.
(Baghdad time)
(The 1991 Gulf War on Iraq
began on 17th January. However, after the 28th February ceasefire was
agreed and signed – following the Basra Road massacre of withdrawing
soldiers and fleeing civilians on 26th/27th February – the US 24th
Mechanised Infantry Division slaughtered thousands on 2nd March.“)
The Covert War on
Syria
The US-NATO Covert War on Syria was
initiated on March 15,
2011 with the incursion of Islamist mercenaries and death
squads in the southern city of Daraa on the border with Jordan.
NATO’s “Humanitarian”
R2P War on Libya
NATO commenced its
bombing of Libya on March 19, 2011. Libya
was bombed relentlessly by NATO warplanes starting on March 19, 2011 for a
period of approximately seven months.
And now for a new
picture above- Can you guess where it is by looking through the
keyhole? "This 5 mile stretch of cliffs has served as a viewing
point for hundreds of years. On a clear day you can see Twelve Pins and the
Dingle Peninsula. It is a must stop when touring this green country."
Can you guess the location?
Correct answers will be given recognition but half the fun is trying to
figure it out. The correct answer will be revealed in the subsequent
issue. Good luck and have fun.
If you like this newsletter, forward it to someone else or sign them up HERE.
As always, send any items you think are newsworthy, interesting or just
plain odd to news@turnkey.pro
Paris,
France - Keyhole Answer
"When a couple travels to this famous bridge in the city of love, they
lock a padlock with their initials onto the public fence and throw away the
key. In 2015, all locks were removed."
Last month, Penny Moen won the location by guessing correctly.
She correctly said "the lock and keys is in the city of Paris and it
is the Pont des Art Bridge railing." Great knowledge of romantic
Parisian landmarks.
Paris is often referred to as "The City
of Light" (La Ville Lumière), both because of its leading role during
the Age of Enlightenment, and more literally because Paris was one
of the first European cities to adopt gas street lighting.
The city of Paris (also called the Commune or Department of
Paris) had a population of 2,241,346 people within its
administrative city limits as of January 1, 2014. It is surrounded by the
Paris unité urbaine, or urban area, the most populous urban area in the
European Union.
Paris is famous for being a global
fashion hub, and it is also known for its world-renowned cuisine. Paris
is also famous for many of its attractions, including the Eiffel
Tower, Notre Dame, The Louvre and Moulin Rouge.
Paris is called the "City of Love"
for a number of reasons, including its sights, its native language and its
popularity as a honeymoon destination. Although other cities sometimes
claim the same moniker, Paris earns its name as a place where
romance blossoms.
Don't leave Paris
without trying...
- Baguette. It is safe to say that Paris is the place
on Earth with the highest density of top-quality, artisanal baguettes.
...
- Steak-frites. ...
- Croque-monsieur. ...
- Duck confit. ...
- Jambon-beurre. ...
- Raw-milk artisanal cheeses. ...
- Croissant. ...
- Paris-Brest.
French Culture. The French are very proud
when it comes to their cuisine. France is well-known throughout the world
for its culinary arts. Amateurs and professionals flock to France, and
particularly Paris, to study and experience food at its finest—gastronomie
en France.
Photo of the Month
This photo was
taken February 14th by Indira Lopez of the Pacific Ocean near Puerto
Vallarta, Mexico.
Taxes and Children
Strictly
Mathematics
Mathematics:
This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 yrs.
Experience.
It has an indisputable mathematical logic.
It also made me Laugh Out Loud.
This is a strictly ..... Mathematical viewpoint.. And it goes like
this:
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over
100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
And
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But ,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-*-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard
work and Knowledge will get you close,
and Attitude will get you there.
Its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over
the top.
Now you know why some people are where they are today!
Fake "Mad
Dog" Mattis Quote of the week
"Build a man a fire and he
will be warm for a night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the
rest of his life."
Parenting Memes
This
Happened.
In mid February, I attended a function where essentially a canary provided
some of the entertainment. The canary would be told your name and
then it would choose a fortune from a box of many possibilities. All
of the fortunes that people around me received were very verbose, hard to
read and generally vague. However, mine was short, quirky and to the
point.
Although I am not sure what "unleash your inner unicorn" means, I
think it could mean something different to each one of us. I had a
very good laugh upon returning home after a very colorful evening.
Look for a unicorn promotion soon... or maybe a clothing line, a self help
book or diet plan.
This story has legs (and a horn and a rainbow)...
Flying during the
30s and 40s
If You Thought Air Travel Was Luxurious In The 1970s,
Check Out What It Was Like Aboard The WW2-Era Boeing Clipper
Clipper passengers took their meals at real tables, not their seats.
For most travelers in the 21st century, flying is a dreary experience, full
of inconvenience, indignity, and discomfort. That wasn't the case in the
late 1930s, when those with the money to afford trans-oceanic flight got to
take the Boeing Model 314, better known as the Clipper.
Even Franklin Roosevelt used the plane, celebrating his 61st birthday on
board.
Between 1938 and
1941, Boeing built 12 of the jumbo planes for Pan American World Airways.
The 314 offered a range of 3,500 miles — enough to cross either the
Atlantic or Pacific —and room for 74 passengers onboard. Of course, modern
aviation offers an amazing first class experience (and it's a whole lot
safer), but nothing in the air today matches the romanticism of crossing
the ocean in the famed Clipper.
The Model 314's nickname Clipper came from an especially fast type of
sailing ship used in the 19th century.
The ship analogy was appropriate, as the Clipper landed on the water, not
runways.
On Pan Am flights, passengers had access to dressing rooms and a dining
salon that could be converted into a lounge or bridal suite.
The galley served up meals catered from four-star hotels. If you want to
sit at a table to eat with other people these days, you have to fly in a
private jet. There was room for a crew of 10 to serve as many as 74
passengers.
On overnight flights, the 74 seats could be turned into 40 bunks for
comfortable sleeping.
The bunk beds came with curtains for privacy.
On the 24-hour flights across the Atlantic, crew members could conk out on
these less luxurious cots.
Unlike some modern jets that come with joysticks, the Clipper had controls
that resembled car steering wheels.
Navigating across the ocean used to require more manpower in the air.
The lavatory wasn't too fancy, but it did have a urinal — something you
never see in today's commercial jets, where space is at a premium.
The ladies lounge had stools where female passengers could sit and do their
makeup.
The Clipper made its maiden trans-Atlantic voyage on June 28, 1939. But
once the US entered World War II, the Clipper was pressed into service to
transport materials and personnel.
Normandy Beach
Art.
A large percentage of our country doesn't know of or care about Normandy.
In 2013, British artist Jamie, accompanied by numerous volunteers,took to
the beaches of Normandy with rakes and stencils in hand to etch 9,000
silhouettes representing fallen people into the sand.
Titled The Fallen 9000, the piece is meant as a stark visual reminder of
those who died during the D-Day beach landings at Arromanches on June 6th,
1944 during WWII.
The original team consisted of 60 volunteers, but as word spread nearly 500
additional local residents arrived to help with the temporary installation
that lasted only a few hours before being washed away by the tide.
9,000 Fallen Soldiers Etched into the Sand on Normandy Beach to Commemorate
Peace Day.
watch it made here
(video)
How The Fight
Started...
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas
gift
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
My wife was at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunk
swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed, he's my old boyfriend. He began drinking right
after we split up years ago, and hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"
And then the fight started...
When our lawn mower broke my wife kept nagging me to get it fixed. But, I
always had something else to take care of. Finally she thought of a clever
way to make her point.
I found her seated in the tall, unmowed grass, busily snipping away with a
tiny pair of scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went
into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I
handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass,
you might as well sweep the driveway."
The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Lots of dust."
And then the fight started...
My wife was standing naked, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay
me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
That's when the fight began ....
I rear-ended a car this morning ... the start of a really bad day!
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'
That's how the fight started....
Too funny
Inside El Chapo's
Home
view slideshow here
US Cash, seized in the house was counted to be nearly $22 Billion! Take a
look.
A Nightlight AND
Outlet
TURNkey Hall of
Fame
“We call this computer Gandalf...”
Never Throw out the Potato
Peels
3 Reasons Why You Should Roast Your Potato Peels
It only stands to reason that
potato skins — long a staple of bars and tailgate parties — are delicious
in just about any form. Even if they don't have much (or any) potato flesh
left on them, the skins alone are full of potato goodness, and, once
roasted, taste something like a potato chip or a French fry, but with even
more flavor.
Here are three reasons why
you should try this out.
1.
Because they are delicious. Plain and simple. Throw some potato peels
in the oven, and they crisp up into delicious bites.
2.
No waste! It's delightful to take a food scrap that would have been
thrown out or composted and find, instead, that it's not only worth saving,
but really delicious.
3.
They are the perfect pre-dinner snack: If you're just now peeling potatoes, it
means that dinner still has a little while to go before it's on the table.
Since potato peels take a short amount of time to roast, you can give your
guests or family an easy snack while you finish cooking. The roasted peels
also are quite light and don't fill you up.
A hot, easy, delicious
pre-dinner nibble that saves you from wasting space in the trash can? How
much better does it get?
How to Roast Potato Peels
Here's how I roast potato
peels. It's super simple. I've only roasted russet potato peelings (since
that's what I use for mashed potatoes) but I think this would work with
other potato varieties as well.
Two notes I would emphasize:
Get these in the oven immediately after peeling your potatoes, as potato
peels will quickly turn pink (which is nothing
to worry about, but it does look strange); and if you leave them too
long, they will get brown and mushy. Also, avoid any green peels; they may
contain solanine, which is a toxin that is not (I repeat not) usually an issue in potatoes, since
potatoes simply don't contain enough of it to bother most people. But small
children can be more sensitive, and just to be on the safe side, I would
discard any really green peels.
1.
Heat the oven to 400°F: Line a large baking sheet with a Silpat,
if desired.
2.
Toss the peels with oil and seasonings: I used a light drizzle of olive oil, and
some pepper and smoked salt. Toss so that the peels are thoroughly coated.
3.
Roast for 15 to 20 minutes, stirring once: Stir halfway through roasting, and remove
them once they're done to your liking.
4.
Sprinkle with cheese and scallions! If you like you can sprinkle these little
bites with cheese and green onions, or eat them straight off the baking
sheet.
Eat immediately with ketchup,
hot sauce, or some other delicious dip.
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